Oh, god. Seriously, who wrote this piece of shit?
“We’re going to have wood in the ball room because guitars are made out of wood.”
“We’re going to have a giant instrument play on the hour! But we can’t tell you what kind, because we’re just making shit up!”
“Seriously, all the hip kids call that road that comes off the Gateway Bridge ‘KVB.’ No, really.”
“We’re not going to show you an example of the kind of art Nashville puts up in its round-abouts because we’re controversial enough as it is. We don’t need the Baptists out at Two Rivers on our cases because we showed shots of naked dancing people.”
My absolute favorite part is the wavy roof. I mean, sure, you see a lot of wavy roofs in Nashville, but that’s because we’ve got 10% unemployment and people can’t afford to get them fixed. But it appears that the people who designed the Music City Center thought that was just trendy. Oops. But you could sell people on that roof if you opened it to sledding on the rare occassions we get snow. Or maybe put a series of Slip & Slides on it?
Here’s the thing. It’s ugly. No amount of sentences that are some variation of “[Something that has to do with Nashville] inspired [something to do with the MCC] and that’s just how the citizens of Nashville want it” is going to fix that. Sure, maybe there are people who look at this video and say, “Well, at least it’s not the typical rusty-rose brick and sand and glass look every other new building around here has.” Okay, maybe even I am one of those people.
But it’s still ugly.
And serves to confirm that we are indeed the Home for Wayward Architecture.
Shoot, maybe it’s time to stop fighting that designation and just embrace it.
Think of how much fun it would be if every architect had to find some way to make their building as uniquely strange and ugly as possible before it was allowed to be built here… I bet people would watch a lot more of the zoning commission meetings.
“You want to put up a strip mall? But where are the monkey bars? And I see no place in your plans for an open air toilet! Or a kissing booth. No, go back to the drawing board.”
It’d be good fun.