First of all, over at Pith, I promised that, if I became Governor, I would stop using the word “cooter” and start using the term “vulva.” That’s sure to please some folks.
And second, I am helpful to my neighbors. When I came home from work today, my neighbor and her friend were struggling to put together some raised beds and I went over and changed the direction on their drill and tada! They were able to put their beds together with ease.
That’s got to be something Tennesseans can get behind.
And, shoot, if Woods is right and women should succumb to the magical powers of my ovaries, I can take photos from my last ultrasound and flash it around the state in order to garner votes.
Gaze upon my cysts, Tennessee, ringing my ovaries like a very tiny pearl necklace, and find yourself irresistibly obligated to vote for me.