So, the Ghost of Midwesterners Past asked me to come write for Pith and I said “yes.” Don’t worry, it’s just in addition to this, not instead of. I’m not exactly sure how it will all work, since I can’t write about my cooter or my garden and, if I can’t write about those things, what can I write about? It’s not like I’m chalk full of ideas. But I imagine that all the local political stuff will end up over there as well as some very basic feminist stuff.
I’ll be blogging under my real name over there. I mean, it’s been years since I’ve been completely anonymous here, but I could kind of drift back into anonymity and so that will be a little different. I called my dad to warn him that I’d be saying loud-mouth stuff under my own name and he didn’t seem to care, so that’s cool. And I’ll probably clean up the language a little, because I don’t want to have to listen to my mom be all “Betsy!!!!!” Either that or I’ll have to start right now teaching my mom the joy of cussing. If I can get her to start dropping “motherfuckers” and “cooters” left and right, that’ll free me up some. Ha.
Anyway, it’s kind of funny. Just when Chip Forrester finally moved the fucking blogger phone call to a time when I can actually call in, I’ve gone and joined the mainstream media. Oh well, someday, Chip, someday I will hear you talk about the future of the Tennessee Democrats.
In a number of different circumstances, Elizabeth Edwards’s media blitz came up and people have wondered what’s going on with that and I have been kind of dumbfounded because it seems to me rather obvious. She asked one thing of her husband when they got married–that he remain faithful to her–and he couldn’t be bothered to do that for her, even though he agreed to it. Now she’s dying and she’s leaving behind young children, children who she clearly does not want raised by Rielle Hunter. But she knows that, no matter how important something is to her, even if John promises to abide by her wishes, he’s proven that he’s not a man of his word. So, she can’t make him promise not to publicly take up with Hunter after Edwards is gone.
So, instead, she’s going to make it as clear as possible to the public that she would never abide by John taking up with Hunter, so that the public will make it impossible for him to do so when Edwards isn’t around to stop him.
Who knows if it will work or not, but her motives seem pretty damn clear.
I sometimes end up at this bar that has a women’s bathroom but there’s only ever like five women in the bar, and the women’s bathroom is way on the other side of the bar, where all the guys hang out shooting pool, and I type all this just to say “Hey, dumbasses! I don’t care if you use our toilet, just put the god damn seat back down when you’re done.”
My point is that there’s this bit of graffiti that makes me laugh every time I see it: “Call Steve for some solid cunnilingus.” Not great. Not sucky. Nothing that’s going to blow your mind, but it’ll get the job done.
Every time I see that, I want to call the number and ask Steve how he feels about having his snacking skills described as “solid.” I mean, I think that’s pretty good. Makes you a mid-carder. Not the fight everyone came for, but a fight everyone will enjoy watching. That’s not a bad thing, I don’t think.