“Solid”

I sometimes end up at this bar that has a women’s bathroom but there’s only ever like five women in the bar, and the women’s bathroom is way on the other side of the bar, where all the guys hang out shooting pool, and I type all this just to say “Hey, dumbasses!  I don’t care if you use our toilet, just put the god damn seat back down when you’re done.”

My point is that there’s this bit of graffiti that makes me laugh every time I see it: “Call Steve for some solid cunnilingus.”  Not great.  Not sucky.  Nothing that’s going to blow your mind, but it’ll get the job done.

Every time I see that, I want to call the number and ask Steve how he feels about having his snacking skills described as “solid.”  I mean, I think that’s pretty good.  Makes you a mid-carder.  Not the fight everyone came for, but a fight everyone will enjoy watching.  That’s not a bad thing, I don’t think.

4 thoughts on ““Solid”

  1. Based on the character of the handwriting in the graffito, does this appear to be a 1st party bit of self-promotion, or a 3rd party recommendation?

    Might also be a question to be answered. I suppose you could always try a reverse lookup on the phone number…

  2. Ha, I hadn’t considered that. I assumed it was a 3rd party recommendation but now that I know men use that bathroom, it could have been some self-promotion.

  3. I’ve seen a lot of scribbling on bathroom walls. Can’t say I ‘ve ever seen the word ‘cunnilingus’.

    Usually it’s one of the more graphic colloquialisms.

  4. While this has been challenged and solidly debunked each and every time I have said it (see what I did there?), I will forever maintain that the women’s restroom is always, always, always going to be cleaner than the men’s. Yes, yes, I know all about “hovering,” but nevertheless, my experience has always been that hovering women still have better aim than men standing up straight.

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