Reason Number One I Don’t Watch Good Movies

Over the past four or five days, I’ve watched “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Get Smart,” and “Eagle Eye,” which are, for the record, all the same damn movie, and that movie is… um… “Enemy of the State” and “I, Robot” which I hadn’t realized were the same movie, but clearly, in retrospect, are.

9 thoughts on “Reason Number One I Don’t Watch Good Movies

  1. Oh goody! I watched Enemy of the State years ago and I now feel like I’ve saved tons of time by completely dispensing with watching movies since my kid was born.

  2. Yeah, if there were an evil female computer running everything secretly behind the scenes in Enemy of the State, you have literally seen almost every movie since your kid was born.

  3. But … isn’t that just a twist on 2001: A Space Oddyssey? And doesn’t that mean that watching these movies will turn you into a star child? And isn’t that a Good Thing?

  4. I think it’s just best to avoid action-adventure movies with Will Smith in them. I would also interject that anything involving Baz Luhrmann, at any level, can safely sit unwatched (having sat through Australia on vid this weekend, ugh).

    Me, I just don’t watch much TV at all anymore (unless it’s NatGeo or Discovery). And movies unless they rate a minimum of 75% on the Tomatometer. If 3 in 4 critics can at least issue a passing grade, it’s probably worth a look.

  5. All the movies in question suck, but I give “Enemy of the State” credit for casting an actress (Regina King, in a substantial role) who looks like she might actually exist in real life. And I give “I, Robot” credit for giving Alan Tudyk a paycheck.

    Can’t say that I’d be jacking off to either movie, though.

  6. Oh, sure, Sam, not like you’re going to tell the whole internet, but I think we all know… Ha.

    Yeah, I loved Regina King in that role because she did look exactly like a person who might exist in real life, which is, frankly, part of Will Smith’s charm, too.

    Have you seen The Orphanage? I recommend it for all kinds of reasons, but the part that’s applicable to this conversation is that the main character is played by this woman who is stunning, don’t get me wrong, but whose face really looks like the face of a thin woman in her late 30s/early 40s, with the kind of thin skin on her cheeks and the lines and the expressive face and it’s so weird at first, to see a woman on screen that age whose whole face moves and wrinkles and unwrinkles and has some give to it that it took me a good twenty minutes to adjust.

    You don’t realize what we’re not seeing until you see it again.

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