Wait a Second, Why is John Rich at Cafe Coco in the First Place?

This whole thing is very strange.   And yet, hilarious.  And he’s building a house right down the road, so Cafe Coco, welcome to your new neighbor!

For those of you not from Nashville, Cafe Coco is where you’d see the likes of me sitting on the front porch eating hummus and reading tarot cards.  It’s the kind of place you take young misfit teenagers to show them that, once they have a car, they will be able to find people like them. It’s not the kind of place you’d imagine a guy who makes inflammitory comments about gay people would relish hanging out, in other words.

Also strange is that Roger Miller would be the cause of all this.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Roger Miller as much as the next person, and I know he battled his personal demons, but he seems like the kind of guy who wouldn’t have been a jackass to a server just trying to do his job.

(This is, in fact, the greatest song ever written, just by the way).

Why Pitbull Has It Easier than Most Rappers

After sitting transfixed through his new video, it’s obvious that he writes half the lyrics any mono-lingual rapper has to write and then just repeats those same lyrics in the other language he knows.

The chorus of the song is, and I shit you not–

One, two, three, four

Uno, dos, tres, quatro.

Well, I, for one, was brought up on Sesame Street, so I see what you’re up to there, Mr. Pitbull!

Also, is Gary Allen morphing into John Mellencamp?  And we have agreed that all his airplane songs are the equivalent of the classic train song.

And, if you’re Akon, why would you remind people that a person like Lionel Ritchie is still alive and still sings so beautifully and that they could just buy his albums instead of yours?