Lord I was Born a Ramblin’ Gal, Tryin’ to Tell the Difference Between a Bucket and a Pail

Okay, I think we all can see now why no girl-groups cover “Ramblin’ Man.”

Though I am going to be spending a good portion of my drive thinking about the word “pail” which is so weird already.  Like, you know how there are some words you have to say over and over again–bucket, bucket, bucket, bucket, bucket–before they kind of detach from their meaning and just stare up from the screen looking weird at you? Pail is born in that weird space where you are like “Is that really a word? ‘Pail’?  And how does it differ from bucket?  Pail? Is that even how you spell it?”

Anyway, I’m off to see the Squirrel Queen and Newscoma.  I have no shorts, so I’m wearing a skirt.  If we go looking for scary cemeteries, I will have to switch to overalls.  If I become tick infested again, I will have to have Newscoma give count.

I was watching “Ghost Adventures” last night because I find it to be the most hilarious show ever.  But last night was just so terrible.  The guys were at a plantation in Louisiana and they were learning all about voodoo, which strangely enough, seemed to be practiced by predominately white people in that area.  And by “predominately” I mean, except for the dead folks, “only.”  They had one black anthropologist on the show who you could tell was trying her hardest to inject some level of clarity and knowledge but at one point, she gets this look on her face that plainly says, “Oh god, I hope my colleagues never see this or I will be teased mercilessly for the next decade.”

The white-guy archaeologist was at least having some good fun with them, but I bet he has tenure, so he can get away with it.

Anyway, none of that it terrible, obviously.  It’s all good fun.

But the point of any bad ghost hunting show is to ride that line between “this is all in their heads” and “or is it?”  And there was some of that last night–evps that didn’t actually seem to be the things they claimed they were.  But there were also things that could have easily been faked and also easily been actually weird–like the cabin in which the light kept coming on and off.

And the park ranger who was with there with them saw the light go on and off and did not even jump.  Now, I know they were playing to the “weird Southerners and their comfort with things the rest of us find terrifying” stereotype, but come on!  If I were sitting here at my computer and the Butcher turned the light on unexpectedly, I would jump or turn to see.  Even if you are not afraid, when something unexpected happens, you have a physical reaction.

And this guy was all “nope, that’s never done that before.  I guess it’s a lu lu.”

American, he did not even unlock the door to the cabin to take a look inside.

Making it clear then that he knew what was going in in there, and not in some supernatural way.