Elizabeth Durard

You never know how long things might last, so, if ever you’re going to talk smack about Timothy Demonbreun and argue for the veneration of his “country wife,” now’s the time.

Big smooches to Bridgett, who taught me a lot of that shit.

You’re Welcome, Nashville Gardeners

I am going to meet Jo from The Modernity Ward this afternoon and I am bringing her a zucchini. I told her that it was traditional for Nashvillians to give each other vegetables as a way of welcoming each other to our homes and our neighborhoods.

Now, you non-gardeners, I know, are saying “Oh, that’s so nice.”

But we gardeners are all rubbing our beards, or where our beards would be, going all “This is a diabolically genius plan! Who can I dump a bunch of vegetables on right now!”

Because now, who can say “Oh, no, I don’t need a ten pound zucchini!” once she’s been told it’s a local tradition?!

Edited to Add: Ha, well, apparently I didn’t hit “publish” but the update is that I did give her a giant zucchini and she was wonderful and her daughters are just as cute as bugs and we made popsicles and talked and the baby waved at me!

Welcome to Nashville, Jo!

In Which I Make a Few Corrections

1. The animal whose picture accompanies this story is almost certainly a Lab/Lab mix of some sort, not a pit bull.  The ear seems to be naturally folded down, is quite long, and is very round at the end, not pointed.  Also, note how the front legs and chest are situated.  Rather than a broad, flat chest with widely spaced front legs, this dog’s legs are close together and the chest is very narrow between the legs.

The first two dogs shown in the video also appear not to be pit bulls but just kind of large random terriers (the brown one in the picture and the little one).

I mention this for a couple of reasons. One, pit bull advocates have long said that shelters have a habit of inflating the number of “pit bull” attacks or the number of dangerous, unadoptable “pit bulls” in their shelters in order to assure people that the other dogs in their shelters are unproblematic, easily adoptable animals that will move without problem into your home.  After all, it’s not one of those evil, nasty “pit bulls” or one of those good but damaged beyond repair “pit bulls.”  Every animal that is nasty or a problem becomes a “pit bull” so that the other dog breeds don’t suffer.

Trotting out what appears to be a starved, brutalized Lab/Lab mix and letting the local news call it a pit bull does little to assuage fears.

But here’s the other thing you should be concerned about folks. What if dog fighters in Middle Tennessee are fighting any medium sized dogs they can get their hands on?

Just think about that. And then ask yourself, if you have a dog between 40-75 lbs, how often is it outside unsupervised?

Also, as a side note, if “a lot of those dogs are abandoned very quickly,” then they obviously failed to make good fighters (a fighter wouldn’t be abandoned quickly would it?). So, we’re killing dogs who have proven to be poor fighters and unaggressive because the stereotype is that they’re aggressive fighters? That makes no sense.

2. Kleinheider, Kleinheider, Kleinheider, what the fuck? You really can’t see how a politician fucking an underling or a lobbyist is any of the taxpayers’ business?  You don’t think activities practically guaranteed to open the State up to sexual harrassement issues or corruption problems are any of the taxpayers’ business?  Are you daft?

Seriously, folks, if you’re a politician and you want to run around on your spouse, run around with someone not from work! Seriously, I can’t believe it’s fallen to me to give advice on how to cheat on your spouse without screwing over your constituents.

And Kleinheider, it’s completely disingenuous of you to pretend like the issue is just that those politicians were unfaithful and not who they were unfaithful with.

Also, if you believe that Paul Stanley is actually an “elite,” and somehow “above” petty middle class morality concerns, you really need to say that outloud to yourself a few times so that you can hear what you’re saying.

“Elite.”

Christ. Some sanctimonious wife-beating, cheating petty tyrant is not my social better. Nor yours.

Get a fucking grip.