Ty Cobb, I Look Askance at You

Names that might properly be shortened to “Ty” when one’s last name is “Cobb,” without suspicion:

Tyrone

Tyrus

Tyrel

Tyresius

Tylenol

Tiberius

Tiger

Timmon

Tyler

Tybor

Tyforth

Tynoltenence

Tyny

Tympony

Tyllian

Railroad Tie

Necktie

and

Bruce

Names that cannot be shortened to “Ty” if your last name is “Cobb” without making a girl think you’re just trying to soak in the reflected glory of the original Ty Cobb:

John

15 thoughts on “Ty Cobb, I Look Askance at You

  1. In fairness to that little boy (god, he does look frakkin’ YOUNG) his middle name is Tyler.

    It kind of reminds me when I first read Little Women and tried to get people to call me “Jo” because my middle name is Joan–>pronounced Joe Ann. It’s a stretch, but one I’m willing to grant the extremely young and idealic.

  2. OMG. What isn’t fair play AT ALL is the use of a baseball in his personal logo when he doesn’t even list the playing of baseball as one of the things he does when he is not serving his constituency with his baby face.

    Damn. Cheater.

  3. Pingback: His Name Is His Name : Post Politics: Political News and Views in Tennessee

  4. I don’t know how I feel about politicians being people young enough that I could have gone to high school with them. Especially when I know people who were at tiny Richland in those years. Cue crisis.

    That being said – it seems like every other boy down there goes by his middle name, frequently because his first name is his father’s. So, on that count – Tyler, Ty, whatever. But the logo is a cheap ploy.

  5. It does! Or like when your… mine… um… someone’s thirteen year old brother announces that he’s growing a mustache and until that point, you thought he was just dirty?

    If the other Ty Cobb wins his brother’s seat, we should totally make them play baseball against each other for the right to exploit the not-so-good name of Ty Cobb. I know Ty Cobb 2.0 did play baseball in college.

  6. I’ll always wonder how many people stepped into the voting booth the day Ty Cobb was elected and didn’t recognize any of the names on the ballot except for the (long-dead) baseball player, and voted for him on that basis. I’m not complaining by any means.

    I am going to name my kid “Tynoltenence,” however.

  7. Shoot, if we can go by shortened versions of our middle names, just start calling me “La” folks.

    GoldnI, you know, if we can swing the Jackson Day seating right, maybe you could sweet-talk John “Ty” Cobb into fathering Tynoltenence Cobb, just for fun…

  8. Many women and gay men agree that he is cute. He’s not my type, except for the firefighter part, but he does have a certain charm.

    I’m just saying, if a “Ty” Cobb smooching party broke out at Jackson day, I wouldn’t be surprised.

  9. You may want to run your whole evil scheme by my boyfriend to see if it’s ok with him. Of course, if we’re all your interns now I suppose we don’t have much of a choice!

  10. If your boyfriend wants to smooch Ty Cobb, no one will blame him! Ha ha ha.

    Oh, boyfriend, I hope you find this kind of stuff funny. Dating an internet celebrity has its drawbacks. This is one of them.

  11. My ex husband went 15 rounds with Larry Holmes for the heavyweight championship of the world, and got the nickname Tex because he was from Texas and training in Philly, and other fighters started calling him “Tex”.

    He is not my favorite person, but ask anyone who knows about sports, and they’ll tell you Tex was the toughest boxer in the 20th century–and would make mince meat of the Ty Cobb, and certainly didn’t use “Tex” to have any type of association with Ty.

    More than that, more than his role as the Warthog from Hell in Raising Arizona, he got rid of Howard Cosell because of his Holmes fight, which is second only to curing cancer in terms of doing something good for others.

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