Constitution Day

So, I told my dad I was heading east in a couple of weeks to speak about Constitution Day and we were trying to decide whether to focus on the second amendment or the tenth.  My dad’s all (and I’m sorry ahead of time to you gun nuts for what is about to come out of my father’s mouth, because it means that somehow, your decades of marketing have failed) “Which one is the second amendment?”

So, I told him.

And then he started in on how stupid concealed carry is. And how he thinks that everyone should be required by law to own and carry a gun. Which they wear openly. As a part of a civilized society.

Though my dad does not own a gun. So, I’m guess he’s just waiting for the government to coerce him. I’m not sure.

Still, I was laughing trying to imagine my dad talking about the second amendment on the same panel as Terry Frank, where he’s supposed to be the voice of the Left. I may insist he comes down, put him in a curly-haired wig and have him do it.  After all, it’s not like Casey knows what I look like, exactly, and I do look a lot like my dad.

This picture illustrates the uncanny resemblance we have to each other, when he’s wearing a curly-haired wig.


I think it could work.

Intuative Eating

I had a burger for lunch yesterday, from Wendy’s, and I’m sad to say that, if you were anywhere near me, you heard about it, one way or another (sorry to those of you near enough to smell my farts). And I was miserable with it clear through to bedtime.

So, today, when lunch came, I thought to myself, self, what would you like for lunch?

And the answer was “sushi and trail mix.” Which was immediately followed by “do you really want that?”

And it’s that second voice I’d like to take a second to consider. Because that voice comes from years of me reaching for another cookie or more mashed potatoes or the last of the baby spinach or whatever.  It’s supposed to, I’m sure, be a voice that teaches women to “consider a healthy alternative,” but for me, and possibly this comes from being raised by Protestant Midwesterners, it is the voice of extravagance-denying. Because, as you surely noted, it wasn’t just the extra cookie, but it was also the encouragement to make sure the boys didn’t want the spinach (as if!).

So, it was weird to hear it click on when I wanted sushi and trail mix, because you’d think rice and seafood and nuts and raisins would be on the list of ‘not extravagant.’  But it seemed excessive, because I’d have to go two different places and…

I don’t know. There’s not really enough here for a whole post except to say that I wonder how much of this stuff we internalize because it’s “healthy” is actually about denying pleasure?

Anyway, I had sushi and trail mix for lunch. And then I burped, loudly, and it kind of made my day.

Political Pundits, Help!

Okay, so I’m reading this fine post by Tom Humphrey about the Lynn/McCall dust-up and I need some help reading the tea leaves here.

1. Isn’t it bullshit that these folks are claiming that they didn’t know Lynn was running? Doesn’t it seem like every time Beavers was like “I quit…” before she could get out “…using that brand of fabric softener” someone would shout out “Lynn will certainly run!”

2. Can people claim, with a straight face, to be more conservative than Lynn? What does that even entail? “I buy my own oxygen and have it pumped into my nose because I believe sharing free air is a communist plot.”?

3.  This is payback, right? Lynn breathed a word about Kent Williams’s asshole behavior, thus causing a big brouhaha, and this is what she gets–though she’s been a loyal Republican hack, the Republicans are going to punish her and punish her publicly–right?

Am I missing something? Why else would people pretend they didn’t know she was running for that seat? Why else would they endorse anyone in a primary? This seems like payback and what else has Lynn done that has caused them such public consternation, other than being in Williams’s cross-hairs when he decided to play “I’m a letch.” and then have it come out?

Tell me what’s going on here! Please.