To the Person Searching for “Suicide Beaman Park”

I’ve seen you here a couple of times and I hope you’ll pardon me for addressing you publicly.  If you’re just searching for news on whether there’s been a suicide in Beaman Park, the answer is I don’t know.

If you are, by chance, contemplating committing suicide in Beaman Park, please reconsider. Yes, it’s a beautiful park. Yes, if you have to go out that way, going out like that in a place like that is not a bad end.

But listen. No matter what, even if you think you have no one left in the whole world who cares about you, your death is going to fuck someone up, bad, for the rest of his or her life. Probably, this is going to be a family member or two of yours, but, even if you’re right, and no one you know cares about you, think of the person who would find your body.

What if it’s a kid out hiking with her parents? Or the poor park policeman who noticed your car earlier?

Believe me. No matter how shitty you have it, they don’t deserve to have to live with what you might do.

2 thoughts on “To the Person Searching for “Suicide Beaman Park”

  1. No matter how shitty you have it, they don’t deserve to have to live with what you might do.

    whereas s/he obviously does deserve to have to live with whatever they’re going through, no matter how shitty it might be, simply for fear of making somebody else feel bad.

    nice, B. guilt-trip the already suffering a little more, why dontcha. call folks selfish for not indulging the selfishness of nameless others once more, only harder.

    i’ve been calling that line of “argument” selfish and stupid for many, many years, but i’ve seldom seen it stated that egregiously selfishly. thanks, i’ll be referring to this post in the future.

  2. Well, as you know, since you have read me for years, my cousin’s kid had to find her dead dad on the bathoom floor one Christmas eve.

    Was he suffering? Yes. We had all seen it for years.

    Am I relieved he’s not suffering any more? Yes, I am.

    Do I think that trumps what his kids are going through? I don’t.

    If that makes me selfish, I’m fine with that. It’s a way my heart has hardened. If you want to read someone who has sympathy in these circumstances, then you should just read elsewhere, because I’m not there yet, if ever.

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