Dear Lawbreaker,
So, let’s say a person, in this case you, breaks the law. Maybe she steals a cookie. She is arrested, but the baker feels bad. Maybe the thief didn’t mean it. Maybe the thief thought she had permission to steal the cookie. Maybe the thief was starving. Who knows? Whatever it was, there were mitigating circumstances and the Court told the thief that, if she kept her nose clean and paid a fine, her record would be expunged.
As long as no one found out about it, it would be as if she never stole the cookie.
I think this is probably a fair adjudication of the matter.
As long as this really is the first and only time the thief ever stole a cookie.
But I’ve been thinking about that–that the thief can make it seem like she isn’t a cookie thief. If she gets caught stealing a cookie again in a year, it will seem like the first time she ever stole a cookie. She could go back to Court and tell a different judge all about how she thought she had permission to take the cookie or how she was starving. Maybe she could even get the baker to testify as to how totally out of character this was for the cookie thief.
Depending on where she was stealing cookies, she could do this AND GET CAUGHT a few times with every time appearing to be the first.
I believe this is truly your first time, dear lawbreaker. But if this happens again, even if it looks like another first time, some of us know it’s not.
So shape the fuck up, you asshole.
B.