Sorcery at the Grocery Store

So, I needed a gallon of milk, because someone made a chocolate pie last night and used up all but a sliver of milk and then conveniently slept through my complaining about it this morning. Getting a gallon of milk on this side of town is kind of a pain in the butt because your choices are either expensive gas stations or the Kroger, which is always busy and the milk is clear in the far back corner, or the grocery store up the ridge, but then, by the time you’ve gone clear past your house to the grocery store, you kind of feel obliged to buy more than one thing. Or at least I do.

But strangely enough, there is a little grocery store in front of the Kroger. It’s weird, but true, two grocery stores on basically the same plot of land. I have only been into this grocery store one other time, to get cookies, I believe. But it seemed nice enough. It’s the kind of place with fifteen cent candy sticks and inch long sausages for sale at the checkout.

I walked in, or tried to, but walked in the wrong door. That’s when the bag boy spotted me. I smiled at him as I came in the right door, but he weirdly looked away from me, even though it was clear he was looking right at me.

Well, fine. You can’t be sexy to everyone.

I grabbed a gallon of milk and came back to the front. His was the shortest line, so I got in it. As I was paying for my milk, he raised his right hand, palm towards me, and began to mutter.  I looked over, but he didn’t seem to be angry or afraid of me or anything, but intent.

So, I didn’t say anything. Maybe it was a blessing, you know?

But then I got in the car and drove home and I started to get a little freaked out. Like, what if he had cursed me?

I was really wishing I knew some kind of good protection charm at that moment.

But all I could come up with is “I’m rubber. You’re glue. Whatever you did bounced off me and stuck to you.”

So embarrassing.

9 thoughts on “Sorcery at the Grocery Store

  1. Perhaps he’s, um, mentally challenged. I hate that term, but I can’t think of another polite one to get the point across. Two of the morning-shift baggers at my grocery store definitely are. They do an excellent job with the groceries, but thier social skills are probably best described as nonstandard.

    I’ve actually run into the two baggers I’m talking about when they were on an outing with their group home, so that sort of confirmed what I’d guessed. I wonder if there’s a social services agency in town that specifically tries to place its clients in grocery jobs?

  2. Ha, no. He was clearly in the “I may be a Satanist, you don’t know!!!!!” category, with the all black outfit and the slight burdened by the world hunch. If it had been twenty years ago, he would have been wearing a DIO t-shirt. I mean, bless his heart, I could just imagine him reading the Necronomicon outloud on the bus every morning, just to freak people out.

    I’m kicking myself that I didn’t whisper “You’d better be very good at that, because I am” at him when I left.

  3. don’t feel bad, this kind of thing happens to me all the time at my local grocery. It’s staffed by – well, what looneytick basically describes – “their social skills are probably best described as nonstandard.”

    The kind but inept higher up guy, who regularly walks around with one of those “won’t hurt your back” type belts on asked me out once. I told him I was a shut in, other than foraging for food – it worked.

    Now, there’s a new guy, from what I can decipher, he’s hopped up on cough syrup or something – he’s way way way too nice and jolly, but way too familiar. For example, he sizes up the ingredients I am buying, asks what I am cooking and then proceeds to ask if he can come to dinner (?!?!?!?) – and he’s serious. I discussed this with my neighbor and she described it as “flirting” – I don’t even want to think about it in those terms.

    The people at the registers: well, they are just the oddest crew I’ve ever encountered. And I have a soft spot for people who have challenges in life. But, I wouldn’t say they were “mentally challenged” really – it’s just like they’ve landed from sort of island of misfit people and they can only coexist with one another.

    A combination of all these factors is about to send me back to the land of Krogering.

    (The upside of all this is I became mayor of the place on Foursquare today.)

  4. I was going to say mentally challenged too, as several of the sackers at the places I shop obviously are. But then I read what you said about the potential Satanist bit – now I’m going to guess possibly mentally ill. As in schizophrenic/etc. but functioning well enough to hold down that job.

    Just a guess, but could be.

  5. Regardless of the young gentleman’s potential issues, yoru protection charm is perfect. Don’t be embarrassed, the simplest things tend to work the best.

  6. See, I love the charm, but I’d likely not even think of that. Mostly I’d be torn between ignoring him and letting him do his thing, or getting up close and looking around at the other side of his hand as though it were a strange and wondrous object. Probably would just ignore it though :P

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