One Second at a Time

It’s really going to take some superhuman feat of skill and fortitude that I’m not sure I have to get through this week in one piece. So, we are making a round-trip to North Carolina on Wednesday and Thursday because

a.) my brother’s not answering his phone when my dad calls, so they can’t discuss how fucking stupid this is. Not that they would discuss it, but the possibility for discussion isn’t there.

b.) in spite of my family’s desire that I be the fucking bitch whose approval they crave, but who they also resent, I’m not calling my brother to tell him how stupid this is. I can’t decide if this seems equally as passive as other members of my family, but for my own sanity, I cannot take up being the boss of these people (or trying. Like I said, the dynamic is to push you into it and then tear you down for doing it.). I told my dad I think it’s stupid, and he took that into consideration and decided to go anyway.

c.) My mom is done with how my brother talks to his son. At least for now. So she would rather go get him and know he’s not going to be emotionally abused for a whole car ride. I don’t know if my brother is actually emotionally abusive to my nephew, since that would take effort and interest, and I haven’t seen a whole lot of that. So, this trip is being driven, in part, by my mom’s anger at my brother.

d.) My mom can’t drive. And I can’t stand the thought of my dad driving sixteen hours in two days by himself, since he is not a semi-truck driver, but a retired Methodist minister. So, I’ll drive 8 and he can drive 8.

e.) Because my brother decided to stop answering his phone, no one could discuss with him the possibility of discussing with his wife them getting the kid today and tomorrow, when the Butcher is off work and could help with the driving. Yes, they are still married. They’re approaching a decade of marriage and almost a decade of not living together. They both seem unaware that there’s no such thing as a common law divorce.

But the anger I feel about this, about the whole family, and the whole holiday revolving around my brother’s ongoing fuckups without directly addressing them with him literally makes me dizzy. And there are a few fires at work that need to be put out, so the thought of not having all three days in the office this week is kind of making me stressed, too.

I’m not sure of a way to address this, but it has to be addressed. But, I guess, I’ll have 16 hours in the car to figure it out.

7 thoughts on “One Second at a Time

  1. Oh, nooooooo Aunt B… uh… Merry Christmas? Feh.

    On the bright side, pick up some saltwater taffy while in NC. That should offset some of the annoyance and give you some quiet time. ;)

    Love you… hope it’s not too godawful.

  2. So, I’ve been texting back and forth with my brother and I’m now not even sure if my dad did call him to try to come up with a solution other than “Dad tries to figure out what brother needs and does it and brother lets him.” Or if he just said he called to get the Butcher off his back about it.

    But basically, my brother doesn’t want to drive to NC and then to Nashville in a day–too draining. True enough and I can’t blame him. BUT I pointed out to him that 16 hours in two days is a lot to ask of a 65 year old man. So, he’s going to call Dad tonight to see what they can’t work out.

  3. Hugs to you, lady. I hope they work things out. If you’re going to be around and not feeling too “feh” we’ll be in Nashvegas from tomorrow to Saturday. Maybe we could grab a lunch or a beer sometime?

  4. Family issues always seem to get magnified at the holidays, don’t they? (I’m dealing with one today myself.)

    I’m hoping for a good resolution for you. And sending a hug.

  5. Well, it turns out that texting him and telling him to get his act together worked. So, he’s going to North Carolina and we’re not.

    Thank goodness.

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