The Dog and I Go to Look at Dead People

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Weekend Gardening Update!!!

I planted some lily of the valley along side of the shed. They were some tiny, crappy, really dry rhizomes that I got from Lowe’s, so I don’t know how they’ll do. But they were cheap, so I guess if only one of them comes up, it’ll be worth it. And everything I’ve read says those fuckers will spread like there’s no tomorrow, which would be nice for that spot.

At one point, I put one of the rhizomes in my mouth. Not in my mouth. I just held it with my pinched dry lips while I futzed with separating out the other rhizomes.

Half of you are gasping, and reaching for yesterday me in slow motion, “NooooooooooooooooOOOOOOooooooooooo!” and the other half of you are like “Um, you put that dirty thing in your mouth?” to which I answer “Not in my mouth. I just held it with my mouth.” To which a handful of you reply “That’s what she said,” and half of us giggle while the other half is still going “oooooooOOOOOOoooooo.”

Why are the No-ers crying “No?”

You see, lily of the valley is poisonous.

Which I did not know until I came in the house and decided to look it up on the internet to see if those rhizomes have any chance of springing back to life. And, as I was reading, I noticed that the left side of my bottom lip was going numb.

Anyway, spotty numbness in my bottom lip seems to be the extent of any poisoning. And, in a way, I’m hopeful. If there’s still enough gumption in that rhizome to do that, maybe there’s still enough gumption to make it grow.

I also planted another thing of parsley in my perennial bed, since I wasn’t sure if parsley is the kind of biennial that will reseed itself and the parsley I planted last year didn’t really get to be caterpillar fodder because I had no flowers with which to lure caterpiller-making butterflies.

But this year there will be flowers in the perennial bed!!!

I don’t really have anything I need to do in the garden this weekend, except some weeding, so that’s boring, otherwise, but you got a nice story full of danger, so there’s that.