If Only All House Joint Resolutions Were This Exciting!

HJR1217 reads more like an adventure novel than a piece of legislation, and it’s especially exciting because it features a regular Tiny Cat Pants commenter, Mike Turner, who, in real life, is a hero. Shoot, read this shit:

WHEREAS, working well past his regular twenty-four hour shift this last weekend as unprecedented flooding swept through Davidson County, Captain Turner and his crew answered countless calls, as he personally was seen on television standing in dangerous flood waters using a make-shift raft to pluck an individual from the treetops on the banks of the flooding Cumberland River; and

WHEREAS, by putting his concern for this gentleman’s safety before his own well-being, Captain Turner saved a life with the heroic actions he demonstrated; and

WHEREAS, Captain Turner and the crafty firefighters were able to save the man by using a camping air mattress as a flotation device because they had run out of flotation devices as the result of the numerous evacuation and rescue calls they answered in the Nashville area

I repeat–he plucked a dude from the top of a tree and floated him out on an air mattress.

And I know Mike Turner is going to do some dumbass shit in the future that will require me to publicly harangue him, as is my way, but it will be difficult for me, knowing the magnitude of his awesomeness.

I mean, I’ll get over it, but it will be hard for me.

I’m really proud of you, Mike, and really proud to know you.

Edited to Add: Trace has the footage!