Um, I’m Going to Need Y’all to Put These Paper Bags on Your Heads around Me

I had to get SouthComm a head shot today. It sucked.  Not just because I had to take it myself, but because I am not that cute. I am bugged by how much my non-cuteness bothers me, but it does. It feels anti-feminist to be so shaken by this, but there it is.

I would wear a bag over my head, but even that is a bridge too anti-feminist far for me. Plus, I’m not sure I could cut eye holes successfully on my first try and a bag with like seven eye holes does nothing to help my self-esteem. So, if y’all could just wear paper bags around me, that would make me feel better.

The worst part is that this photo is actually kind of cute, which undermines the whole point of this post, but I just can’t bring myself to show you the way I look in the vast majority of them.

I envy people who feel comfortable with the way they look, who take lots of pictures and feel fine having people look at them.

Well, what can you do?

Ring-a Ding Ding Ding Dong

–You know, people dog on Wikipedia, but where else can you find an explanation for the Ding Dong/Ring Ding/King Don situation?

–Also, would it be too nerdy to start referring to things that happened in April and before as antediluvian?

–I should ask JR for a ruling on the antediluvian question…

–…when JR is done making me out to be some kind of blogging Jekyll and Hyde. Or Heckle and Jeckle. Which ever.

–Rumor is that the Wamp campaign is doing some advance opposition research on bloggers. I can’t help but hope that they will stop by the house, hang out in the hammocks, pet the dog, and maybe have a beer or two. I mean, let’s just be frank. There’s already something ludicrous and hilarious about gubernatorial candidates worried about liberal bloggers. I mean, everyone already knows Wamp and John Rich are two peas in a pod. How can it get any worse?!  What more than that are they afraid liberal bloggers will find out about? But they should come by anyway. Shoot, they can help with the weeding, if they want. Come on over, Wamp politicos. I’ll hang out with you in my back yard.

–Unless I don’t warrant opposition research being done on me, in which case, don’t even bother to try to drink my beer, assholes.

–Ron Ramsey’s boots. Okay, let’s be honest. Once you’ve got special boots you wear in case of emergency, aren’t you literally just some colored long-johns and a cape away from trying to pass yourself off as a superhero? We should all chip in and buy Ramsey a cape.

–Heh, I’m in a kind of overly tired, giddy mood. I had this weird nightmare dream that we were at my great-grandma’s house, which for some reason, we had all just inherited (though it wasn’t actually her house). And it had these scary, ricketty stairs up to the attic and the second floor had a door that opened up onto a balcony created by the roof of the Florida room, but it was somehow also into a slight hill. So, on the roof, there were all these graves. And the graves closer to the hill were normal, old graves with big old stone grave markers. But the graves closer to the front of the house were mounded up with a dirt ring on top of the mound and in the ring were huge, old mirrors.

And there was a historical marker, but I couldn’t read it.

Those big old mirrors, face up to the sky, just freaked me the fuck out.

Funny How, in a Crisis, Everyone’s a Little Liberal

If you didn’t know anything about Tennessee politics and you read this–

“It is important for us to stand together as a state and ask the federal government to help us even more.”

–would you believe it was said by a guy who has threatened, if elected governor, to meet Obama at the state line with guns? And yet, here Zach Wamp is, arguing that his platform of state sovereignty and accepting all the aid we can get are “‘not mutually exclusive,’ he said. ‘There’s a legitimate role for the federal government, and frankly it involves things like natural disasters that the states cannot deal with.'”

Really?

I thought we were supposed to look to the Constitution and and the Founders (as imagined as petulant, punitive assholes) and only allow the Federal government to do as little as we think they would have allowed.

Look, here’s Marsha Blackburn also happy to ask for federal aid, even as she’s been so happy to deny it to others in their times of need.

Which, you know, fine. Folks need it and I’d be furious if these folks didn’t set aside their personal ideologies to get the help their constituents are in dire need of.

But I just wanted to make note of it, because, when the chips are down, it’s liberal ideas about the role of government that people are counting on now, even the most conservative of folks.