True Blood, First Episode, Season Three

I expect stupidity, a shocking lack of black people, considering that it’s Louisiana, and Eric being all bad-ass. I predict I will not be disappointed!

7:58 Here we go!

Do you remember when Kathy Tyson said “Fresh Blood” should be on True Blood? And here it is! Kathy is psychic!

–Ha, I am excited for this season again.

–There is just no way that the recap of last season can really cover everything.

–Oh, I forgot what a dumbass Jason is.

–“Deputy Jones.” Ha, I like Kenya.

–I have missed Terry, too.

–Arlene looks good this season.

–Who hasn’t been in love with a serial killer? Bwah ha ha ha ha.

–Bill, no one believes your nonsense.

–A lot less conscience and a lot more cajones. I forgot how funny this show can be.

–I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight. Hee

–Naked Erik! Woo hoo!

–Holy cow. Vicious Bill!

–Is it just me or has it been a long time since we’ve seen Bill tough and angry?

–Why would Sookie tell Tara that at this time?! Good lord, sometimes the people on this show are stupid.

–How did Bill find Sam? Oh, right. Well, I’m glad I’m on the same page as Sam.

–This has gotten weirdly hot.

–Ha oh, damn, I was hoping this story had just taken an awesome turn. But alas, just a dream.

–Well, Jason is right. Sometimes telling the truth can fuck someone up.

–Oh, lord, I’d forgotten Tara’s mom.

–I’m glad Sam sees right through Tommy.

–Oh no! Reverend Daniels. No, no, no. Between Tara’s mom and her version of God, Tara is pretty screwed.

–I’m glad to see the queen acting a little bad-assed

–Well, except that the Queen is acting all like Hamlet’s mom, protesting too much.

–Troubles with the IRS.

–Pam is hilarious!

–Poor Lafayette. He’s just in such a bad place.

–I don’t know. I’m kind of digging skulking, hungry Bill.

–Ha, ha, I love that Tara’s mom is hitting on the Reverend. That was a nice thing the actor did with her arms, too, a little graceful, erotic move.  I hate that character, but I think the actor is just brilliant.

–Sam, stealing mail is a federal offense.

–Poor Jason. All those girls laughing at his poor pecker.

–Operation Werewolf?!

–Werewolf Odinists?

–Damn it! That was it?!

This show is pretty terrible, still, but god damn it, I love it.

And now we have a post-mortem? Well, I wonder if this will go on throughout the season? But I like seeing all this wolf information.

Okay, so, that was that. I liked it. I wonder if my expectations have lowered so far and the shows quality has so improved that we’ve finally met in the middle?

Sorry, Mrs. Wiggleboottom

People, here’s the thing about old bull dogs: they are notorious for having shitty skin. It is important to keep your old pit bull clean and flea free. Keeping any animal out here flea free is fairly difficult, but we keep her Frontlined and the places she sleeps washed and vacuumed.  I had been using the Hartz oatmeal shampoo on her, but, after I washed her last week, we were out. And, if you’ve seen pictures of her, you know her skin has been really acting up this spring.

So, it’s been a week since her last bath.

I go to get Frontline at that place in Belleview, Bellevue, suddenly I can’t remember how to spell that. Anyway, they’re very friendly and I’m telling the woman who’s helping me about how Mrs. W.’s skin is bothering her and I’m looking for some soothing shampoo.

She hands me some. It’s pretty damn pricy, but you only have to use about a quarter size dollop, so it lasts a good long time.

I ask her about using it so soon after just washing her and with her skin already being so dry. But she says, go ahead.

So, I put Mrs. W in the tub. I turn on the water. I wet her down.  She has some big chunks of debris coming off her, but the water is clear.

I use the fancy new shampoo on her. It doesn’t foam up a whole lot. I let it sit on her for five minutes, as directed. Blah blah blah. It’s boring.

But people, when I rinsed her off, the water that came off her was muddy dark brown. It was like a year’s worth of dirt was just pouring off her.

Never, in my life, have I seen that much dirt come off a dog. Never mind a dog that had a bath last week.

Clearly, the Hartz shampoo was crap.

Owen Bradley Park