I honestly do not know how folks lived in the South before air conditioning. I mean, I get what the women did. We probably regularly soaked our bloomers in cold water and put them on under long dresses that focused airflow into our core. But how did people who wore pants do down here?!
I honestly don’t get it. In my childhood, in the North, we’d leave our cars running in the winter, if we went into a store. When I first moved down here, you’d see people leaving their cars running in the summer if they ran into a store. This morning, the DJ on the radio said “Our official temperature is 84, but the bank on my way in already said 90.” And that was at 9:00 in the morning.
Good lord, no wonder cacti and yucca grow wild here.
Anyway, I got some new underwear, speaking of bloomers, and they must have the thickest top band known to underwear. I am going to bet you a million dollars that they don’t have a fat woman designing underwear for fat women, because your choices are always underwear that goes up to your armpits (which, I guess, you can tuck up under your boobs, to help with crappy bra chafing) or underwear that seems like it was designed for… I don’t know whom. I’m trying to imagine what the woman who this underwear was designed for would look like. Apparently she has a very large butt, but then a very tiny circumference area between her cooter and her belly? Like right where your actual hipbones are? And that’s where they have the thick stretchy band?
I guess in case a big wing catches all that extra fabric in my butt area and I lift off like a kite, they don’t want these puppies falling off me, leading me to crash to the ground, and suing them.
I wonder at what point my underwear is going to come with a safety belt.
I wonder if women whose underwear does have safety restraints have more exciting lives than mine…