Republicans Have Lost My Grandma

My grandma, bless her heart, has voted Republican her whole life.  Until now. She has become very concerned that she cannot prove that she’s a citizen of the United States, because she can’t find her birth certificate. My mom tried to assure her that there’s no problem with just ordering a copy from Cook County, but my grandma is also convinced that a copy of her birth certificate will not be good enough proof, considering all of the trouble that she feels Republicans have given Obama about his.

Shoot. I’m wondering where she thinks they’d deport her to. Who knows? Both her parents were born in Chicago. ICE will probably just stick her on the Metra at 179th and send her on into the city. That won’t be so bad.

Still, I love it a little bit that she’s all “What if they try to pull that bullshit on me?!”

7 thoughts on “Republicans Have Lost My Grandma

  1. Dolphin, that’s actually part of what’s so interesting to me. Clearly, a lot of this stuff is predicated on the idea that white people won’t have to worry about it (it can happen, but way off west to people unlike us), but they can’t come out and say that, because it’s admitting to racial profiling.

    And my grandma misses the dog whistle. So, she’s afraid that what happened to Caraballo could happen to her.

  2. How can we encourage more old people to be paranoid that the Republicans are trying to deport them? It would be great to swing that solidly-conservative “gray” vote in our direction!

    Here’s my newly-minted conspiracy theory: “In an effort to reduce Medicare costs, the GOP has subpoenaed the membership roster for AARP, and turned it over to ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement). Anyone who cannot provide their original birth certificate faces immediate deportation to Mexico.” Remember folks, you heard it here first!

    Also, can I say, that that sounds spookily-plausible, except that they would go through AARP, the GOP would just use the Medicare rolls, directly.

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