I’m Easily Startled

After the whole dome light incident last night, I was a little freaked out and having trouble sleeping. Every noise was a killer zombie ghost who was going to touch my shoulder in a spooky manner before… I don’t know… slamming a bunch of doors. I was doing the whole little kid thing where you pull your covers over your head, like they will magically deflect the axes of any supernatural serial killers.

The trouble is, when you live in a house with another person, three cats, a dog, and possible a mouse that some idiot cats won’t catch, there are a lot of noises in the night. Is that ghostly snoring or just regular snoring? A ghost is walking down the hall! No, just the cats. A phantom peed and forgot to flush.

All thoughts I had last night.

Finally, I just had to convince myself that, if there were a ghost making odd noises, the dog would bark at it. So, no matter what I was hearing, if the dog was sleeping through it, it was just the noises of the house.

And so I was finally able to sleep.

I also need to remember to check and make sure nothing from my car is missing, in case a living person is the one who switched on my light.

7 thoughts on “I’m Easily Startled

  1. Okay, I’m sorry, folks, but Tennessee Budd wins the internet for the day. Do not even bother to try to write something better than this because it cannot be done.

    Seriously, just as I was about to type “Um, what good is a gun going to do me against monsters?” you swooped in with that and just fucking delighted the shit out of me.

    My hat is off to you, sir!

  2. Well, there is an intermediate step between worrying about this and firearms. You could just lock the car. Then if the dome light got turned on you’d know it was a ghost, and Mrs. W would protect you.

  3. Oh, and P.S. You need to get a white noise machine, or the Ambiance app for your iPod touch… I find that listening to an extremely loud thunderstorm at night drowns out any house noises… thereby “protecting” me and letting me sleep peacefully. Hahaha.

  4. I had a friend who liked to stay with me(when the possums/raccoons were fighting in her attic and the boyfriend was away) because she knew she could blame any noise on my animals.

    It doesn’t cover the car weirdness but for sleeping at night it’s good.

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