True Blood–In Which Sookie is Dumb

Um, Sookie, you just saw how vampires die. And Bill did not do that. So, I think the screaming is a little much.

On the other hand, so long, annoying woman.

Take the silver off him, though, dumbass.

Sam’s gun, which is never locked, in his never locked car. How is that not the most stolen gun in Louisiana?

Alcede may be the second dumbest in-love person on this show.

Oh my god! Cooter! Wait, was that Cooter? I can’t tell them all apart.

So, this is how mortal enemies are made. Like superhero levels of mortal enemies.

And I’d like Tara to get together with Alcede.

“I never thought I was smart enough to get depressed.” Oh, Jason.

“I bet you a hundred to one her middle name’s Meth.” Oh, Hoyt.

Oh man, Jason is cracking me up.

And Hoyt is a genius!

Jinx, Jason.

Well, if every episode included Sam taking his clothes off, that would be awesome.

Church-house garden? She stole from the parsonage?!

I like, too, that Hoyt now has the kind of girl his mom would have loved.

Everyone’s bleeding. Everyone should go to bed, vampire folks.

Oh, this dog fighting stuff is going to disturb me.

I don’t know if I can watch.

That’s going to call for a tetanus shot, at least.

Can I vote twice in the same episode for Tara and Alcede?

I like the dual pacing.

Is Tara the only one with sense this evening?

Again, I ask, is Tara the only one with sense this evening?

and Bill is not dying. Interesting.

Um, Sam in a dog collar does something… um… hmm….

More pacing!

Ugh, that’s one dead dog.

They’re going to fight a pit v. a rottweiler?!

Seriously, Sam’s parents would be hard pressed to suck worse. I hope he kills those motherfuckers. Seriously.

You know, they did a good job casting Sam’s parents.

Aw, Jason.

Aw, Lafayette.

Oh, god, dancing?!

Oh, man, Lafayette praying is amazing.

They have some poor security at this hospital.

Even at this point, Pam is a badass. Damn.

Ooo, this showdown between the Magister and the King is awesome.

“We can always taunt later.” Oh god, I love Eric.

Oh, my, the King. The King.

The King is a little Crowley, isn’t he?

The Queen and I had the same looks on our faces just now.

Perhaps this episode should have been called True Guts.

In Nashville, We Have a Lot of Metal Men

Cricket!

We went and watched a cricket match today and I got so sunburnt I about can’t tell you. But it was awesome! It was so beautiful out, hot, but with a cool breeze, and the cricket players were so damn nice. They gave us water! And they cheered.

I don’t know. It was just wonderful.

On the Other Hand, Dying of the Black Plague Right Before My Book Came Out Would Be a Great Marketing Angle

They warn you that there will come a time when you regret buying your house, usually within the first year, that will cause you to feel like you have made the biggest mistake of your life.

Today, I feel it.

Last weekend, when nothing was amiss, I washed the dog and frontlined everyone who could be found to be frontlined. Which means not the orange cat. (Foreshadowing?) Nothing was amiss, they were just due. Friday, I did laundry, including all my bedding. Again, nothing amiss, just due. I hung the quilt up outside to dry (perhaps more foreshadowing)?

Yesterday, I took a shower. I shaved my legs. I went out on the front porch to clip my nails, since it is against the rules of our house to clip your nails in the house. I literally could not have been cleaner. I came from clean sheets into the shower, out of the shower, into clean clothes, out onto the front porch, and I looked down and there were… people, I don’t even know… like fifty fleas all over my ankles and shins. Maybe they have been hanging out on the front porch en masse just waiting to mount an attack on the house? I don’t even know.

So, I got some Raid flea stuff and I sprayed the shit out of this house. I mean, sprayed so much that the dog and I had to leave to breathe.

And this morning? Without even having been outside, three fleas on my ankles.

I mean, duh, of course they’re in the house.

So, here’s what I have learned. One, if you want to keep fleas out of your house, you have to treat the yard, too. Two, if your yard drains into any streams and rivers, you should not treat your yard. But people! My yard isn’t draining into a stream or river right now! Dude has our creek turned off. I should be able to insecticide the shit out of the yard, right? But then what about all my butterflies? And bees?

We’re going to have to bomb the house.

I never thought I’d say this, but I prefer the ticks.