I Also Need Saved From this Show

Everyone in the house is asleep and the Butcher’s head is resting on the remote, so I have just had to watch The International Sexy Ladies Show, which has included, and I am not even kidding, a woman bouncing up and down on a roasted chicken.

Okay, yes, when I put it like that, it sounds awesome.

But having to see a woman trying to sexily sit on a chicken?

I think it has broken me.

How is this a real thing?

It’s Good to Fail Early, Right?

Well, I have almost single-handedly failed as miserably at Kindle as a person can fail, at least, I hope. The cover I uploaded shows up on their website square. And the book itself? When I hit “preview,” I was met with a wall of text so void of paragraphs… I can’t even tell you.

I don’t know much about Kindle, but I can’t believe this is right. You can’t have like 8 words on the screen at a time, right?


Never have I felt so much like a Luddite.

Thursday, Thursday, Woo Hoo, Thursday

There are not a lot of songs about the awesomeness of Thursday. None, in fact, that I can think of.

And yet, folks, I am here to report that on Thursday, I will be getting the check copy of my book.

Yes, Thursday. This one right here. Well, right over there. If we all look east, we can practically see it coming! If we stick out our tongues, we can taste Thursday on the air.

So, obviously, I submitted the PDFs and they were fine.

On the one hand, I feel like I’ve got so much I have to get done. On the other hand, I have been getting as prepared as I can for as long as I could, so there’s probably not much more to do, really. Just fret and get some shit printed out.

I can’t wait to see it.

I also can’t believe how quickly this has all come together. Just as a non-myopic side note about lessons learned, I think where I really lucked out is that I have, within my social network (for lack of a better term) a lot of really creative, knowledgeable, talented people. So, when I had questions or needed help or needed someone to do something for me, I wasn’t floundering trying to figure out who I could turn to. I had those folks already available to me.

If you didn’t have that, self-publishing would be more difficult, I think.

Shoot, I can’t wait to see it. I hope it looks good. It’s looked so good on the computer, but whew, I want to see it as a physical object.

Edited to add: This “print on demand” stuff is crazy. I ordered the proof copy today at 11 a.m. I just got an email, right now, at 1:50, that they’ve shipped it. It only took them three hours to print, bind, and ship a copy of the book. I’ve had orders from Amazon take longer to pull together.