So… This is Weird

I was here all morning. The Butcher was here all afternoon. He went outside to mow, but the dog stayed in the house.

I came home and I looked in what is left of my box of books and I noticed one was back cover up instead of front cover up. No biggie. I assumed the Butcher either took it to look at it or whatever.

So, I ask him if he enjoyed it. He said that he had not looked at it.

He said, “Maybe it was always turned over.”

I said, “I don’t think so. I took a picture of them. They were all face up.”

Then, just now, I went into the back room and that old, shitty computer was on.

So, we checked and nothing appears to be missing. The dog was in the house, so it seems unlikely that someone could have come in and fucked with shit. And we checked the closets and the attic and didn’t see anyone hiding in there.


So, I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that the books were stacked backside up under a couple of front-cover-up books.

And the Butcher is trying to convince himself that maybe the computer had been on… um… since my parents were here? Since they’re the only people who use that computer (to play solitaire). And maybe it had just gone to sleep and he jarred it while sweeping and thus caused it to come back on.

So, I’m pretty sure there wasn’t any corporeal person in the house.

But I walked through that room when I got home and I don’t remember it being on.

It’s a weird feeling to hope that it’s something unexplainable or else we have to figure out how to reckon with the weirdness of someone just walking through the house, going through our shit.

Either way, I don’t like it.

Edited to add: Just now I was all “Oh my god! I can hear someone in the kitchen!!!!!!!” but it was just the orange cat. Cats, I swear, are probably responsible for 99% of what people think are ghosts. They should have a show where ghost hunters go around and just ask themselves, “How could a cat cause this?” and they would explain 99% of what people experience as hauntings.

An Open Letter to Tom Humphrey

Dear Tom,

This is completely uncalled-for and disrespectful bullshit:

Remarkably, one can find, for example, a blogger who emphasizes being pro-choice on abortion declaring she sees no difference between McWherter, who is pro-choice, and Haslam, who is pro-life – although neither candidate is zealous about espousing his position. She was upset that McWherter had shown some sympathy for people opposing construction of a mosque in Murfreesboro.

Who? Who is this “remarkable” blogger? How would this remarkable blogger defend herself against you if you won’t name her? I could say I think it’s me, get all pissed off at what total bullshit is is for you to not have the courage to name me, and then you could be all “Oh, I meant… um… Southern Beale.” Or Beale could be all “Well, no, you have misrepresented my feelings on the matter,” and you can say, “Oh, no, not you, I meant… um… some blogger you guys don’t know.”

And then you put this in your column? Again, without naming this person you’re taking to task?

It’s not cool to make an actual person in this state your bogeyman, especially without identifying her so that she can respond.

Shape up.

And, in the future, you need to get over this idea that women are one-issue voters and that, if you know a woman is pro-choice, that she’s somehow “remarkable” if that’s not the only factor that influences her political decisions.

You know voters are more complicated than that. Write like it.


Aunt B.

Edited to add: I’m glad to see that nonsense didn’t make it into the print version.