I had really strange dreams all night and woke up and felt a little constipated. If you know my body, you know that doesn’t happen. So, yes, lo and behold I had forgotten to take my drugs last night.
Habits are a weird thing. You get into the habit of doing something so that it happens without you having to expend a lot of energy thinking about whether it’s happened. I brush my teeth before I go to bed. Dog tired or not. I brush my teeth.
But here’s the thing. My ritual of brushing my teeth before bed is so natural to me that, if I skipped a day, I wouldn’t know. The very thing that makes me do it automatically makes me not worry about whether its happened, which makes me not notices if it hasn’t.
The same holds true with taking these pills. They’re huge. You’d think you’d notice if you hadn’t taken them because of the absence of feeling like you swallowed a handful of horseflies.
But no, sometimes I just forget.
Fortunately, I had to work out a system to address this early on, back when I was worried all the time about whether I’d taken them and I didn’t want to double up. I take them in the evening, but in the morning, I put them in a shot glass. If the shot glass is empty, I know I’ve taken them. If it’s full, I know I’ve fucked up.
So, I took them this morning.
And it’s fine. It shouldn’t bother me. In the past, when I skipped days on accident, it’d be about lunchtime that it got bad, so I should be fine.
Still, it’s a funny thing, habit. It helps you out and, just when you’ve come to rely on it, it dicks you over.