I Have a New Hero

Today I learned about Mahala Mullins, a moonshiner from East Tennessee who was so fat they never could arrest her because the could not get her off the ridge. Accounts differ as to her actual size and mobility, though she made it to 71 in the 1800s, so that says something about her general health, though I think it’s safe to say that her legs are not in that condition from fat, but probably from elephantiasis, so… yeah… general health. She lived what was forever in those days, but had a chronic condition that probably sucked for her, but still, she maintained her sense of humor and flaunting of the law.

So, sure, we have Popcorn Sutton’s moonshine back again. But what I want to know is where is the moonshine commemorating Mullins?

Birds Gotta Poop, I Gotta Write

I have been thinking a lot about a novel. I know it’s bad luck to say it, bad luck to talk about it, bad luck to do anything but do it. But I have always said I was going to write a novel and I have always started it and kind of not talked about it and never gotten very far into it. And I’m going to see if this time is different. For starters, I have an outline. A rough outline, but an outline. I am still in the process of outlining as some parts of the outline read “and then something happens, I don’t know what.”

I am actually researching things. And I am trying to figure out how to get to Watseka.

But on Sunday, the Professor came over and I told her the whole story, as it’s shaping up on my head, and she seemed to like it and she seemed excited about how the Watseka Wonder figures in. And we talked a long time about what it means to be a minister’s kid.

Right now, I think it starts:

I didn’t know I was turning into a bird. Of course, the number of people in the world at any given time who know they are turning into a bird, or more correctly in my case, a flock of birds, is probably less than ten. It’s just not the kind of thing you can know about yourself unless someone else you know has done it.

Anyway, I’m kind of not sure how this all goes. They’re down a man at Pith at the moment, which basically leaves me, at least during the first part of the week, so I’m trying to keep some content there so it doesn’t wither and die. And I really want to be writing this book.

So, ha, if you thought things were going to suck less around here any time soon, I guess this post is my way of saying “Nope.” (Though, I also must say that there’s something freeing in just saying “My blog is going to suck.” I think some of my best writing lately has been since I’ve realized the blog will suck and suck hard for a while.)