Why I’m Not Worried About the Butcher Taking Over the World Any Time Soon

Last night he gave me a list of things that have to be done today:

1. Grocery shopping

2. House cleaning, including massive bathroom scrubbing

3. Garage cleaning

And so I dutifully rolled out of bed and got up and started my day at a normal time. Guess who is still in there snoring away? I guess maybe he isn’t planning on mopping or dusting? Otherwise, it seems like we would be getting started already.

12 thoughts on “Why I’m Not Worried About the Butcher Taking Over the World Any Time Soon

  1. Your next book should be about your life and the characters in your life. Kind of like the book, A Confederacy of Dunces, except on steroids. I have this picture of the Butcher in my mind, that if I ever met him it might destroy the Image. With your Writing style and colorful language, I think it would be a hit. You might even have character based on me, a bumbling, stumbling, disappointing Politician.

  2. I had a character based on you in this book! I’m CERTAINLY NOT putting you in another book until I have actual proof that you’ve bothered to read this one.

    But I don’t think you’re a disappointing politician. Well, sometimes, but I still think you’re one of the best ones we’ve got. Not that the pickings aren’t slim, but still…

  3. Shoot, I even put in some bullshit about the character based on you being handsome so you wouldn’t be too insulted when it turned out he was the Devil.

    I tell you what, my efforts are wasted.

  4. While I concur that B’s writing is fantastic, I must say that the Butcher kinda lives up to the picture she crafts. He might live up to her words more than many others, because he is such a character that one need not embellish.

  5. I think Bridgett’s onto something.

    I’m sure the Butcher’s list is just, “post the words ‘spontaneous fire’ on Facebook,” … “hot chicks appear.”

  6. Don’t even get me started. I was just sitting here on the couch, minding my own business, when all of a sudden hot chicks started wandering into the house looking for the bathroom.

    I am still a little WTF about it and it happened Friday.

    Well, I have completed the massive bathroom scrubbing, so I think he should do the rest of the house. It’s only fair, I think.

  7. The thing I don’t get is that, if he’s been able to magically cause hot chicks to show up in our back yard, why is this the first time he’s used this skill? Did he not know he had it? Did he not develop it until he turned thirty last month?

    Mike, thanks. I hope you like it.

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