I am having to take a little break from Chapter Two in which we learn about a massacre of a whole family a hundred and fifty years ago and the little Amish girl who wants a dress in “Daddy’s color” which is orange for the prison jumpsuit he wears. That’s actually kind of funny in a heartbreaking way, what’s depressing is that her aunt has left the Amish community to marry a guy who thinks he’s a dog and, when asked about it, about whether it’s weird, she’s all “Hey, I wouldn’t have married this dude, but literally every guy my age in my community is in prison for meth, including all of my brothers, so if I didn’t stick around here, there’d be no one to look after my parents, and my niece wants to wear a prison-orange dress, and I had to give up a religion I love, so really, a little bit of thinking he’s a dog? Not as weird as what I’ve been through. And that our girls do, too? Well, at least it’s something they can do together. At least it’s not terrible.”
And that’s the short version, but that “At least it’s not terrible.” just… whew. I feel you, character in my book.
This is actually a part of writing the book I had not anticipated. I’m rolling with it, though, just to see how it goes. But, when I was outlining, I expected the main character to spend a lot of time freaking the fuck out and being all “no, no, no, this can’t be happening. I must be insane.” But, instead, she’s a little worried that she’s not more freaked out.
And every character who can transform? They all think it’s not the worst thing. Just something that happens that they live with. Or that it’s awesome.
And I think this is right.
The girl who hosts Lurancy will not be this way, at least not initially, so that will be a good counter-balance.
But I think it’s right so far. It’s just funny. In the outline, there’s a lot of room for angst and terror, but in the story, there’s more sadness about other things. It does make me wonder if I think we just find ways to cope with what we can’t do anything about, but fret over the things we wish had gone differently.
I mean, I guess that’s exactly what I think. It’s just funny to see how it plays out narratively without me realizing it.