How Will It Be if I Die an Old Maid in the Garret?

Ever since Coble introduced me to this song, I like to sing it in the car at the top of my lungs. The way they sing it, it just sounds so defiant, like, fuck yeah, how will it be if I die an old maid in the garret? It’ll be fucking awesome, because I will have done it.

And then sometimes I get to the end and it makes me cry. I mean, I’m not even sure what a garret is. I assume, without looking, that its what Rapunzel was stuck in–a high turret with no castle attached.

Oh, shit, it’s an attic? I’m not that bummed about having to live in an attic. I mean, yeah, if I have to live in my attic, that’s going to kind of suck, because I’m not great on stairs, let alone rickety fold-out ladders, and there’s no bathroom up there, but if they throw me a bucket, I guess I can manage.

Well, fuck it. I’m going to stop being sad about having to live in an attic. The only real question will be–how will I get my cauldron up there? Is a cauldron in an attic a fire hazard?

3 thoughts on “How Will It Be if I Die an Old Maid in the Garret?

  1. I saw the post title in my google reader and was all “I love that song!” momentarily forgetting that I shared the Steeleye Span version with you.

    I just love how Maddy Prior takes that–a song the drunks use in pubs to laugh at unmarriageable women–and turns it into a defiant celebration of independent womanhood.

    Not to mention that it’s just a rollicking good time.

  2. I love Maddy Prior. That is all.

    No, wait, that’s not all. I also want to explicate on the garrett. It’s where the servants lived, so being unmarried is tied (in this song) to losing social status. Now that is all.

  3. I lived in an attic apartment for about… 5 years. Love this song, and I also applaud the sentiment.

    However, I did somehow stumble out of the garrett and out of old maidenhood too. Miracles do happen.

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