Another Day Another Migraine

The eye doctor asked me if I wanted to overnight my new contacts and I was all “Oh, no, I don’t want to pay for that.”

But I pay for that anyway.

The folks came through on a return from Georgia. It was fine last night and not good this morning. My dad actually made piggy noises at my mom who put two pats of butter on her one sweet potato pancake, while he had three, with caramel nut topping. Even our waitress noticed and was appalled.

As I get older, I experience it like he’s mentally ill. I don’t now. Maybe he is mentally ill. But we’re all going along just fine and then it’s like he just has to blurt out this nonsense. And sometimes I can even tell that he’s embarrassed by it. Though not often enough.

But still, he was talking about which son got which guitar when he dies and it upset me so much, him divvying up his crap like he’s going to die next week.

Yesterday, at the Gold Rush, I was sitting at a table waiting for the rest of my party, watching the girl at the next table. She was with a boy who appeared to be an old acquaintance from high school and they were playing catch-up. And he said something, I didn’t hear what, but she put her hair up and gathered her shirt together at her neck and, after a minute, put her coat on.

Her voice never changed. The expression on her face never changed.

But I wondered what he’d said that completely changed her mood.

Antioch Park, I Think (There Was No Sign)

Vast Regional Generalizations Ahead

I don’t want to embarrass anyone, so I’m not going into specifics, but I also want to write about this, because I’m totally stealing it as a tactic. So, I’m out with friends, one of whom has been noticeably down and not in the “I’m going to write poetry and listen to the Cure” way but in the “One more thing and I’m going to start beating people with the people I beat just before them” way.

So, my Southern friend says “blah blah blah, we’ve noticed things aren’t okay and we’re concerned about you.”

And the other friend says, “No, I’m fine, really.”

Now, if we were all Midwestern, the Silence of You’re Totally Bullshitting Us would have descended. If you’re from the Midwest or related to Midwesterners, you’ve experienced this and you know the level of how much we think you’re bullshitting us is indicated by how long the Silence of You’re Totally Bullshitting Us goes on. Then, we all talk about you behind your back until word gets back to you and you realize we have concerns.

Imagine:

You: I’m thinking of having a baby with Mike “The Killer” Jones, so he won’t forget about me while I’m in jail.

The Midwest: Oh, that seems like a bad idea.

You: But I love him.

The Midwest takes a long drink from their beer/tea/water/coffee and the Silence of You’re Totally Bullshitting Us (and Possibly Yourself) descends. You respond with the Silence of Fuck You, I Know What I’m Doing and then we move on to discuss whoever is not present and talk about the ways they’re totally trying to bullshit us and possibly themselves.

You leave. The Midwest talks some smack about you. It gets back to you. The Midwest thinks he’s wrong for you. Why are you going to jail in the first place? Are you trying to break your mother’s heart? Etc. And you consider it and feel like “Well, the Midwest’s heart is in the right place. Maybe it has some points.”

But here in the South?! Apparently they have this move called “No, now, I know this is making you uncomfortable, but I’m not going to let this go. I’m worried about you.”

Which you do in place of any of our various Silences. And can say multiple times.

My mind is still blown.