Oh, Lord, Chapter Five

So, the book opens with Hannah going out to Dickson to purchase some art painted by Kevin, the wrestler, who then becomes a procurer of interesting people and moonshine for her. So, I thought it would be nice, in the last chapter, if we could go back to Kevin’s art. Perhaps he could paint a lovely portrait of the Devil.

But apparently, before we get to that, which was supposed to be the opening scene, my main character is spending sometime fucking the Devil.

Yes, I am mortified.

My parents may never read this book.

Hell, you may never read it.

I may have to take it out before I even get to the second draft. Ha, I don’t know. I blame Squirrel Queen. She was the one who reminded me of the importance of just getting whatever comes into your head down on paper so that you can revise it later. Well, and the Devil, who, of course, would have to throw a wrench into things.

Oh lord.

This novel-writing thing… I just don’t know.

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16 thoughts on “Oh, Lord, Chapter Five

  1. The devil in your ghost stories is such a sexy devil, it would be a sin for you not to have had a character fuck him.

  2. It is the problem. The Devil is incredibly charming. At some point, it just seems improbable that someone who spent a lot of time with him or even a little bit of time with him, would be immune.

    Plus, it’s to the point in the novel where things need to start going really south. So, the ball has to start rolling downhill somehow.

    But still! Lord, I can’t write non-awkward sex scenes. I can barely have non-awkward sex. I don’t know how I’m supposed to write about something where no one gets a hilarious cramp or sounds like a moose, briefly, or farts or whatever. I feel like I could write scene after scene of ways a bodies come together to embarrass their owners.

    But just plain old “ignore the crying baby” hot sex with the Devil? I’m not sure I have those skills.

    I feel already up for the bad sex award and the scene’s not even done.

    Ha ha ha. Man.

  3. So the Devil is John Mayer? I mean, anyone who gets near JM winds up fucking him…makes you feel for the roadies a bit, huh?

  4. Whoa now. This is my fault? I never mentioned any Satan fornication in anything I typed, yet now the sexy beast is all up in your book making the beast with two backs. Good luck working this one out.

  5. Oooh, nasty, O.C.! I reread “The Stand” a couple years ago. Flag had an ice cold penis, I think, and his partner was shell-shocked into madness by the act. Betsy’s devil wasn’t anything like that in City of Ghosts. He actually sounded sexy, charming, AND like he’d be a heckuva lot of fun in the sack.

  6. What fun would it be to be the Devil if you couldn’t even get laid (I mean lust is one of the seven deadly sins, hello!)? I totally think the Devil deserves to spend some time fucking in your book.

  7. I had forgotten all about Flag’s ice cold penis.But no, the Devil is a lot of fun in the sack. It’s all the energy of being 16 with the knowhow that comes with being with someone for thirty years.

    Sadly, I’m not sure if Kevin’s marriage will survive it. And it puts Hannah precariously close to being sacrificed to the Devil by his minions and gets her in a fight with her dad.

    So, that will not be fun for her, but fun to write.

    I’m just going to have to find a “how to write non-cheesy demonic sex scenes” book while I’m rewriting for reference.

  8. IIRC, Randall Flagg wasn’t the devil but one of his henchmen. Wasn’t that what Mother Abagail said: “He and Satan have kept their counsels together of old”? (Have just outed myself as a big ol’ “Stand” geek, sorry.) His appeal was more of curiosity and Teh Crazy, (thank you Nadine).

    Which is why I agree with Our Aunt B’s depiction of the Old Scratch as hotter than rip. In many many ways. How else could he convince so many folks to go so wrong?

    Heh.

  9. (In other words, Betsy, if he really does look/act like your character, I’m going to hell faster than many have predicted. But on my own terms, oh yesssssssssssssssss ahem.)

  10. Ha ha ha ha ha. I’m trying really hard to strike the right note of “incredibly seductive in every sense” with “and now you’re fucked in every sense.”

  11. I’m trying really hard to strike the right note of “incredibly seductive in every sense” with “and now you’re fucked in every sense.”

    Oh, you hit that vibe every time in CoG, so I’m sure you’re doing it in this book, too.

    Looking forward to reading this newest one. Wooooo!

  12. Clearly y’all know MUCH more about “The Stand” than I do! But I was thinking more of Flag as played by Jamey Sheridan in the miniseries, and he was pretty damn hot.

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