Another Open Letter to Ron Ramsey

Dear Ron Ramsey,

I’m probably not going to write you every day, though clearly you could use being written to every day, because I lack ambition and stick-to-it-iveness. But I will say that whoever writes your press releases is practically poetic.

However, this General Assembly will not be intimidated by nomadic bands of professional agitators on spring break bent on disruption. We talk through our differences here.

“Nomadic bands of professional agitators on spring break bent on disruption?!” Sweet Jesus, if that doesn’t become a t-shirt, there is no justice in the world.

I’m interested in knowing what it takes to become a professional agitator and whether one has to apply for the job or if your press secretary assigns people.

And, really, who can remember the last time being a lefty in Tennessee was so much fun?

Love,

Aunt B.

7 thoughts on “Another Open Letter to Ron Ramsey

  1. That’s only true in a situation where the opposition party (for whatever reason) poses no threat to the status quo. Otherwise being in the opposition party kind of sucks, what with the constant annoyance of the ruling party’s secret police, death squads, etc.

  2. Sam, there’s a lot of ground between ‘no threat to the status quo’ and ‘secret police, death squads, etc’. I was just trying to say that it can be liberating to not have any responsibility because you can do whatever you want without any serious repercussions.

    But you’re right. That’s my white male privledge talking.

  3. No, W., if we’ve learned anything this week it’s that, when your white male privileged starts talking, it will do so by detaching your penis and sending it into the women’s bathroom to stand around and intimidate the women.

    Or something.

    Ha ha ha.

    Sorry, probably shouldn’t try to conflate two threads into one joke, but I can’t help it.

  4. No, W., if we’ve learned anything this week it’s that, when your white male privileged starts talking, it will do so by detaching your penis and sending it into the women’s bathroom to stand around and intimidate the women.

    And y’all express surprise that I carry an aluminum Louisville Slugger.

    BTW, B, this also could explain the carnage in your workplace bathroom: self-defense! Ew.

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