An Open Letter to Paul Stanley

Dear Ex-Senator Stanley,

I admit, I find your desire to dwell on the circumstances that got you kicked out of office to be baffling. What, exactly, is it you say to yourself that makes you think, “If only people really got _________, they would see that, though I have some responsibility for my present circumstances, others also share the blame, perhaps even nefarious others?” Do you think there’s going to be some fact that undoes the truth that you fucked a gal you were not married to knowing that your wife thought you’d promised her you wouldn’t fuck other people?

Do you think that, if we all learn that a gal willing to run around with someone else’s husband is also willing to extort said husband, we’ll see how she’s to blame? Dude, guess what? A gal willing to run around with someone else’s husband? Someone old enough to be her dad? No one is surprised to learn she has ulterior motives. You found out the girl willing to help you do a very not-nice thing to your wife was capable of doing a very not-nice thing to you?

Not a surprise.

And yet, you still seem baffled–like it’s some unfair injustice that, when you started doing no-good things, you found no-good people to do them with.

You, sir, you fucked up. You knew you were married. You knew your wife didn’t know you had decided to change from monogamy to polyamory. And you, one of the most powerful men in the state was too stupid or egocentric to even consider that the person you might get up to nefarious things with might herself be nefarious.

And until I see some post from you that’s willing to look that dead in the face and come to terms with it, I’m going to assume that you continue to be a self-destructive idiot.

Case in point:

People ask me lots of questions about the issue, one of the most common being, “Do you believe you were set up?” Even my former spouse feels she knows the answer to this question. We talked about it as recently as last weekend. Until now I have only discussed the issue with close friends and family. In one sense it does not matter because the outcome is still the same.

I have to ask: why are you even putting this out there? Even dropping it into the world that you think there’s a chance you were set up?

Let me be very clear, in order for you to be set up, someone would have to know that you have a weakness. How would they know that? How would Morrison and Watts know, if they plotted to do this from before you started fucking her, that you’d be unable to resist a cute young thing, someone young enough to be your daughter, who put herself in your way?

You see what I’m getting at? How would they know that you wouldn’t bother to resist her?

Right now, people are just wondering how you could be so dumb as to make this one mistake. You really want people wondering if you’re angry because one of your mistakes got out of hand?

Dude, come on!



The Professor and Her Floozy Minister

I have known the Professor a decade. I count her among my dearest friends. And today at lunch, she said to us something so shocking, so out of left field, I am still a bit in awe of it.

She thinks Reverend Dimmesdale is hot.

Yes, the floozy pastor from The Scarlet Letter!

I feel almost compelled to go back and reread to see if there’s something in there I missed.


I am Old

I went to bed at 9:00. The only reason I didn’t go to bed at 7:30 is because I would have been embarrassed for anyone to learn I went to bed at 7:30. But I feel good now.

It remains to be seen how I feel at 7:30 tonight.