There are Deer Farms?!

I am still baffled by the knowledge that there are deer farms–places that deliberately raise deer for hunters to go and shoot–and that people want them in Tennessee. Now, I am not a hunter. But I do have a garden. So, I have to say, I am confused about why we would need places in Tennessee where deer are raised deliberately. Are there not already a shit-ton of deer in this state? Are they not already kind of a public nuisance? Have we not pretty much removed all apex predators from the area, thus rendering us deer’s only real threat?

People who aren’t even hunters kill deer in our state all the time, on accident, with their vehicles.

Help me out here, hunters. Why in the world would you need to canned hunt something so damn ubiquitous? Who would pay to hunt something they could shoot for free in their own vegetable garden?

Is it about the size and age of the animals? What? I’m not trying to be snarky. I literally cannot understand this enough to know if I should be in favor or oppose it.

Turn About is Fair Play

One of the Butcher’s friends has been giving him rides to work since he started his job. Yes his JOB! The Butcher has a job that he goes to and he makes money and some of it goes to pay bills and buy groceries and it’s wonderful, wonderful, won…

Where was I? Yes, so the Butcher’s friend has been giving him rides to work since he started his job. And today is the very first day the Butcher has his (mom’s) car. And the guy who always gave him a ride? Today, due to his problems with an infamously conspirator car dealer, he needs a ride to work. And so, this morning, I watched the Butcher leave a little early so that he could go pick his awesome friend up and take him to work.

That pleases me a great deal.

But listen. The Butcher’s awesome friend is in this lovely band I already told you about–Anchor Thieves–and yet I can see by my statistics that literally seven of you clicked through to download their damn album for free. It’s free. If you don’t like it, you can tell someone you secretly hate that it’s awesome and make them download it. If you do like it, it’s free! Enjoy. Sing along.

Just show these folks, one of whom has been so good to my brother, some love.

And I will owe you one.

I am Completely Over this ‘Exercise is Good for You’ Crap

First, when Mrs. Wigglebottom and I were at the park yesterday morning, we were attacked by fucking ducks. Not like ducks I’m angry at, though I was a little angry, but actual ducks en flagrante who did not appreciate being disturbed. And the dog hid behind me, after barking at them and provoking them further, as if I had magical duck calming abilities or something.

But then, like three quarters of the way through our walk, I got this weird… I don’t quite know how to explain it. But you know sometimes how you’ll get a pain in, say, your knuckle that lets you know you need to crack said knuckle and you do and everything is wonderful? I got that in my foot. It’s still there now. It’s like right in the arch of my foot and I can’t figure out how to crack it. But oh my god, it’s the most annoying pain ever. Not the most painful pain. I mean, on a scale of one to ten, I’d give it a two or a one and a half, but a two or a one and a half with a shrill voice. And, because of that, I was walking on my foot funny, which caused my ankle to fucking fuck and so this morning I was all “I will walk the dog and that will somehow fix things.”

I don’t know how I thought that was going to work. It’s like getting stabbed and then stabbing yourself to fix it or something. I have no fucking idea.

But, while I was at the second park yesterday (Don’t even try to match my park-going prowess, Nashville, it’s not going to happen.), Polerin showed me how to LARP sword-fight and it was awesome. I mean, you ever have one of those moments where someone has some kind of nerdy knowledge that you did not know you needed but they start to talk and you realize they are answering every question you didn’t even know you had?

Folks, it was like that. She gave me a little sword-construction theory (it involves a trip to Wal-mart, much to her chagrin), sword-holding strategy (keep your sword-hand elbow from jutting out or someone will take it off), and she even whooped me in the back! It was awesome. Oh, and then she did these fancy moves where she showed me how she would use two swords at once on the field and how she has this set-up she likes with a short sword and a spear so that she can either keep you further away from her than your weapon can reach with her spear or she can move in closer than your weapon can defend and stab you with her short blade.

I asked if it was customary to give newbies fifteen minutes to get all the “Ooo, I’m going to stab you with my massive sword,” double entendre bullshit out of their system, because, even writing the above paragraph, I’m all “Heh heh heh.”

If not, I swear, I volunteer to be the person who listens to all that and laughs along, because I am not mature enough not to.