Cat Dog Barking

I was attempting to sleep in, as people like to do on the weekends but the cats assumed, of course, that this meant I was going to let them starve to death… yes, clear unto death… if I slept any later than I do on weekdays. But I was determined. I was having a lovely dream about Viggo Mortensen w/LOTR-era scruff and a barn and some puppies and I was determined.

So, there I am, “Okay, go ahead, Viggo, make sweet love to me in the hay here while we listen to the strange barks of those adorable puppies over there.” when of course, my mind is like “You know, that is a strange bark for a puppy to be making. Almost as if it’s not a puppy at all.” Oh god damn it. So, I wake up thinking, I don’t even know. That the dog has been injured in the vocal chords or something.

And there, at the end of the bed, looking down on the dog who is also trying to sleep (I think we must assume she was having a dream about the Hound of the Baskervilles [she’s always loved bad boys] and a barn and a litter of Viggo Mortensens nearby to dispense butt scratches as necessary) is the new kitty who is… I am not even kidding… barking at the dog, or at least, doing her best impersonation of a dog bark.

I don’t know if cats are smart enough to develop plots where she was thinking “Hey, if I can make the dog bark, there’s no way the woman can sleep through that” or if she was merely tired of complaining to the orange cat about the lack of food and so had taken up trying to communicate with the dog in the dog’s own language about my terrible inability to get out of bed when necessary.

But it was the damnedest thing.