The Easter Count


Number of people who have cried: 1

Number of people who expressed a desire to cry in the Old Hickory United Methodist Church Women’s Bathroom: 1

Number of instruments played: 2

Hours of duration of playing: 3 (approximately)

Number of people who ate candy rather than interact: 4

Number of people who came to blows: 2 (children)

Number of people who almost came to blows: 2 (adults)

Number of people who had to yell nonstop from 9:00 a.m. to 10 a.m. to get people in the car and to church on time: 1

Number of practice drives to church: 2

Number of people told to “shut the fuck up” in front of the whole family: 1

Number of people called a shitty dad: 1

Number of people who have refused to brush their teeth: 1

Number of people who complain about the cooking, but don’t help: 4

Number of people who are clearly tired of all this togetherness: 7

Number of people now blogging while hiding in the other room: 1

9 thoughts on “The Easter Count

  1. Add a conspiracy by the Southern Baptist relatives to save the 4-y-o child from their highly successful, doting, atheist parents.

  2. Remind me again why my LRSP and I continue to have quiet holidays at home with plenty of good food and our dogs….

    Also remind me once again how everyone insists that families make holidays better.

  3. Aren’t the holidays great!!!!!!

    My mother, brother and sister in law finally realized yesterday that my husband no longer attends my family’s holiday meals. It only took about a year, observant group. I finally got to tell them that if you make a person feel unwelcome/unwanted/uncomfortable enough, you get your wish and they don’t show up.

    I don’t think the message really got through though. It will still be our fault for wrecking the holiday image of a loving family because my husband won’t play along and be ignored while he’s there.

  4. All of a sudden I don’t feel so bad about the last time I was with my family when I snapped & told a certain in-law she needed to find some semblance or manners. Nope, not at all.

  5. kmum, it took them a year?! Lord almighty.

    I’m embarrassed to say that I started crying on the phone to my mom this morning apologizing for how shittily the weekend had gone and she said, “It’s not your fault,” and I said, “I know, but I still feel terrible.” And my dad yelled in the background, “But we’ll blame you, if it will make you feel better!” which made me laugh.

  6. Pingback: AnimalShak » On Stubborn Dogs

  7. Yep, a year. Shocking isn’t it?
    Last fall, just before hunting season, we found a target nailed to a beautiful maple tree which was helping to hold part of the riverbank in place. Target and tree were shot to hell. That’s bad enough, but the real kicker is that my brother put a target up, on what’s considered my land, and shot towards where we (my husband, son and I) are clearing a spot for a cottage. He only has 450 other acres to play on but he picked that spot. My mother even gave hubs attitude when he hand-delivered the target to her.
    I need a therapist.

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