1. I’m sure the non-Christian readers of this Tennessean piece found it deeply relevant to their lives. I’m working on a similar piece for heathens. Are we doing enough to spread our love of drinking, pillaging, cursing, digging up dead witches, and writing long poetry about how Odin has dicked us over? Have those us us un-dicked-over by Odin written enough poetry mocking the bad luck of the dicked-over? Have we considered Idris Elba naked enough? What? That’s totally a legitimate heathen form of outreach. He’s playing Heimdall. Not my fault if other religions are boring and you don’t get to consider the joys of god-fucking. That will be my suggested headline “The Joys of God-Fucking Lost in a Busy World.” Subhead: “Sucks to be you Skallagrimmson.” Yep, I’m mocking the long dead. Yep, this is why pre-Christian germanic folks spent a lot of time kicking each other’s asses.
2. Dear Webster Franklin, your casinos are situated on a river that floods regularly. Not only that, but the ground you’re standing on? That is a vast ancient flood plain. It is as fertile as it is because it is a vast, ancient flood plain. Good luck trying to make sure this never happens again. You’ll need the river to not be a river and the flood plain to not be a flood plain.
3. Yes, I did laugh when I read this, but I am still in “Devil’s au pair” mode. In fact, I’m going to email it to my dad so that he can laugh.
4. The Commercial-Appeal is doing a great job putting up a lot of flood pictures. Man, my heart goes out to folks. There’s got to be some way of both letting the river do what it needs to do to be healthy and of not having people’s lives destroyed repeatedly. I don’t have any good answers.