Comcast Customer Service that Works for Me

I had decided that the way to get over my anxiety about finding an agent would be to send out some query letters last night. But then the internet went down, so I watched NCIS and hung out with the Butcher and the Red-headed Kid. I admit, I haven’t been watching as much NCIS as a person might, but I had somehow gotten it in my head that Ray was a little kid, so much of that episode was confusing.

However, here’s what I wanted to say. After I’d restarted my modem and still didn’t have an internet connection, I called Comcast and their little computerized voice recognized my phone number and asked me if I was having tv or internet problems and when I pressed “2” for internet problems, she was all “Yeah, we know. We think we’ll have it fixed by 11:30.”

I did not even have to talk to a human being. But I felt like someone knew something was wrong and was fixing it.

I’m kind of wondering if Comcast isn’t overlooking a business opportunity. Think of the comments at Pith. What if they could call an 800 number and get an soothing womanly voice who was like “Are you calling to complain about Betsy? Press one if you just hate her. Press two if you think she’s stupid. Press three if you think she’s a liar. Press four if you think she’s be a much better writer if only she took your coaching to heart.”

“You’ve pressed 4. Press one if you encountered the ‘You’re not the boss of me’ glitch. Press two if you’ve encountered the ‘Met with hostility’ glitch. Press three if you were just ignored.”

And then it could say something reassuring like “We are aware of Betsy and working on a solution. It will take a hundred years.”

That would be nice.

4 thoughts on “Comcast Customer Service that Works for Me

  1. Oh, I like the idea of a hateline system for Pith: if you are calling to hate on the conclusion of a post, please press 1; if you are calling to hate on the topic of the post, press 2 [if you are calling to hate on an individual who is the topic of a post, press 1; to hate on a group that is the topic of a post, press 2; to hate on an institution that is the topic of a post, press 3; to point out that the post should have been on another topic, press 4]; if you are calling to hate on the writer of the post, please press 3; if you are calling to hate on another commenter, please press 4. Of course, each of those would have subchoices: profanity? yes/no; snark? yes/no; all in caps? yes/no. And so on.

  2. Thanks, Mark. Like I said in the post, it was a very pleasant experience. I really appreciate that both times that I’ve had service issues this year, when I called, Comcast already knew they were going on and gave me what turned out to be an accurate estimate for how long it would take to get it fixed.

    And now, everything seems to be working just fine.

  3. The problem with both? No option to say “all of the above.” It’s almost never only one of my Comcast products that’s out, it’s two or more – and I’m guessing your haters are just filled with tedious complaints that can’t be confined to a single number! ;)

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