I Have Complaints

I have complaints. And anxieties. Oh, so much fucking anxiety. I am a joy to be around this weekend, let me tell you. And I’d have liked to spend more time outside in the garden, where, after about ten minutes, you can’t think about whether your dreams are stupid and unreachable for reasons you don’t quite understand and have no control over.

That’s what’s nice about the garden. In the garden, there is no hope. No dreams. Just you and the dirt and the stuff that’s growing there.

But, you know, when it’s not 100,000 degrees out, there are ticks. Last night, I pulled two seed ticks off me. You know what a seed tick is? It is literally, for real, not making this shit up, a baby tick that needs your blood so that it can grow another pair of legs. Maybe this is my anti-bug bias showing, but I don’t care how tiny you are, if you need blood in order to add fucking appendages, you are a monster, a hideous monster.

I’d like to Sevin dust the whole yard, but I don’t want to fuck up the bees and butterflies.

So, I’m sulking inside instead.

The Park and More Hollyhocks

I wonder if it would be wrong to tear up all the grass in the yard and just live in a field of hollyhocks?

So Long, The Modernity Ward

Jo is closing up The Modernity Ward. I used to be kind of sad when blogs I like shut down, but it really is a different world. People email me and ask “How do I get in touch with the bloggers?” and I’m now asking back “What bloggers are left?” Everyone’s been coopted or gone to Facebook or Twitter or just moved on.

And I don’t know. That seems right to me. There was a great moment when everyone was like “What the fuck? Let’s try a bunch of stuff and see what works!” and now we know what works, and by and large, it’s not for lone individuals to do this.

Which is also not to say that I think this isn’t awesome, because you know I do.

But I think it’s understandable that it shakes out this way. That seems to be the shape of the thing.

Still, it feels like it’s getting empty.

So, I hope the kids come up with something cool to occupy all our times.

Ha ha ha.