Political Penises in the LOC

Okay, one of you is going to know the answer to this story problem: Anthony Weiner tweeted his wiener, accidentally, to all of Twitter, which means it is now in the Library of Congress, where Twitter archives all our tweets.

Is this the first political penis in the Library of Congress?

The Butcher and I say “no.” I’m betting on Thomas Jefferson having an architectural rendering of his penis among the items he sold to the Library. The Butcher says he’s putting his money on, and I quote, “that pervert, Benjamin Franklin.” (Please note, the Butcher said “that pervert” with an air of jealous appreciation for the man’s talent and not any slut-shaming.)

26 thoughts on “Political Penises in the LOC

  1. Fillmore had no balls (see his massive cave on the Compromise of 1850). I can’t say if he mislaid his penis too.

  2. I was watching “America: The Story of Us” last night and I got to the Louisiana Purchase portion of the story where we got land for $.03 per/acre from Napoleon. So, there has to be some record of The Little General in the LIbrary of Congress.

    Anyway, after he was sent to Elba and died, his tiny todger (to borrow Keith Richard’s turn of phrase) was removed. He’s buried in this war museum in Paris, in a gigantic tomb – but one portion of him is missing. So, it stands to reason that there quite possibly be something about his Little Napoleon in The LOC.

  3. Kat, President Johnson called his schlong “Jumbo.” He used to pull it out and wave it around when he got pissed at the press corps. Autre temps…can you imagine the outrage now?

  4. OED gives the print origin as 1863, but does not explain why the author (who was referring to an unfortunate case of frostbite in his trek across Canada) came up with the term. Maybe some connection with the batmaker in the early days of baseball (R. G. Johnson) that used to burn his name into bats, but I’m betting a printer error. Brits have their John Thomas and colonial/antebellum men had their Brother Jonathans.

  5. Rachel, I… I don’t even know. What the fuck is that? Who thought that picture would be a good idea?!

    I’m going to have to imagine Thomas Jefferson naked to get the gross out of my mind.

  6. Rachel, it looks like a stereograph, which means not only did somebody think to take that photo, but used special camera equipment to do so.l

  7. I dont get the stereographm picture? Is it chicken bestiality? If so, why is there such a thing?

    If it is pr0n, i’m not surprised. Essentially every visual medium throughout history has sported pornographic imagery as its vanguard.

    And I know there is farmyard porn…but i’m still blatherheaded about that implimentation. Wouldnt it hurt?

  8. It’s Comstock Act era “naughty” comedy — the same sorts of sexually suggestive (but ultimately only suggestive) images wind up on postcards that got sold at seaside resorts, sent between fraternity brothers, etc. The “farmyard” humor card (ex: young blonde “milkmaid” caught in compromising position trying to “milk” a bull, etc) was considered hilarious in the midwest, but only if it was white kids. The same poses were marketed in the South, but with white kids or adults in blackface.

  9. I saw the bit about the chicken having “gotten the worm” by biting the boy’s penis, but for some reason it didn’t occur to me that it might be humor just for humor’s sake, purpose-wise.

  10. Now that I think about it, I think that the LOC has a copy of Aristotle’s Masterpiece (early sex manual) that once was in Jefferson’s library. (Or maybe Jefferson’s copy wound up at UVa.) Definitely sketches of penises in that. That’s not really presidential timber, I guess, but the book itself dates back to the 1680s, so it might be the earliest pecker in the LOC.

  11. Yep, nothing funnier than a kid getting his pecker pecked in 3-D. Man, and those are the good ole days we’re supposed to feel nostalgic for…

    Bridgett, I just know the earliest penises in the LOC must somehow be tied to Jefferson, either through blood and sinew or because he owned sketches of them. It’s not that i wouldn’t put it past Franklin. I just thought all his stuff ended up elsewhere.

    And I know of no other founding fathers with the reputations of those two. But I’m always interested in learning of them… ha ha ha ha.

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