At Night I Wake Up with the Sheets Soaking Wet

Since there’s nothing to be done on the manuscript but wait, I’ve been trying to keep myself busy working on other things (sadly, not the quilt, but I have to tell you, the thought of working on it in this heat, even in air conditioning, makes me grouchy. I should have never started the quilt.) which I guess are going okay.

I’m trying to get the juices flowing just so I can think about what I want to do around here for October. Ghosts are fun, don’t get me wrong, but, whew, I am Nashville-history and ghost-storied out.

So, I’m mulling.

We’ll see. I’m thinking of a vampire. A sparkly vamp… oh, that’s been done? What about a young werewolf, perhaps a teen wol… no? Okay, then, still thinking.

Paul Stanley Puts the “Ass” in “Classy”

Gee, Paul, is there any woman you’ve slept with you won’t throw under the bus to make it look like what you did was only just as bad as what they’d done to you?

Hint: You know what really fucks up children of divorced people? When their high-profile dad airs their mom’s alleged dirty laundry in public in order to make himself look good.

You’ll Be Sorry When I Die a Virgin

I swear, I will attempt to grow a potato in the shape of James Baker and give it to you if you can come up with any other plausible meaning for this song other than “You’ll be sorry when I die a virgin.” I mean, I am certainly familiar with the “you’ll be sorry when I’m dead” genre of teenage angst. But the “you’ll be sorry when I’m a dead virgin”? Is this the answer song to a million “carpe diem, carpe penis” poems?

Really, I have been trying hard to ignore this song and this video (I have an idea for a horror video in which frolicking young people singing about how sorry we’ll all be when they die virgins who are dancing around plantation homes and gardens are killed by the ghosts of those places. Obviously, it’s a horror that works both ways–the dead young virgins and the poor ghosts who had to endure their frolicking and singing beforehand) but the Butcher gets up in the morning and turns on videos at this video is on ever damn day.

And ever damn day I’m like “Really? We’re back to ‘the perfect girl is so passive she’s dead’?” And I am not even one bit sorry, The Band Perry, if you die a virgin. I resent even having to know or contemplate which bodyparts of someone else have rubbed you where.

The South! This is my question for you–when you were creating a mythology the framed this region as analogous to England’s noble past, did you ever imagine we’d have to see this? You know, I think it wasn’t that Elaine of Astolat couldn’t keep her eyes of Lancelot, it’s that she got a hint of this video in her mirror and it was like… ugh… she knew if she turned away from it, she would go floating on down towards Camelot in such away that this mess would be inspired to happen, but if she didn’t look away, she might be forced to watch it every damn day.

This is Why We Nashville Democrats Can’t Have Nice Things

If you are a Democrat in Nashville (or hell, probably the state, considering how much pull these people have), you should go read Stephen George’s Scene story about the council race against Jason Holleman. This, right here, is why we can’t have nice things–because the party is run by an unelected oligarchy who actually talk like evil cartoon villains.

“In terms of larger citywide issues, this district is overwhelmingly — like the city in general — supportive of the mayor and his plan for Nashville and what he’s done for Nashville in the last four years,” Tally says. “Councilman Holleman has not been supportive of that agenda, particularly with respect to the fairgrounds and the convention center. And folks in this district are generally supportive of the mayor and his plans, so they’ve been unhappy to know about the lack of support from Councilman Holleman.”

What the fuck? And then did she laugh all bwah-ha-ha-ha and stroke her chin beard while thinking sadly about the need to kill Fredo? Our city is kind of a democracy. I think. Still. Just because a guy gets voted in and just because people are generally okay with the direction he’s taking the city doesn’t mean his shit doesn’t stink

But I tell you what, looking at the names of the people working against Holleman, I’m now even less shocked–I’m literally in a state of negative shock–that the mayor sees nothing wrong with handing out $60,000-a-year part-time jobs. That probably does seem like a pittance in this circle, a sacrifice these brave souls are willing to make for our fair city.

And, having had my run-ins with a couple of folks mentioned in this article, I am not at all surprised that they’re angry that someone less than them would dare not get with the fucking program.

Here’s my favorite part, though:

The campaign against Holleman took shape within days of Tally’s entrance. Some prominent donors to the incumbent’s 2007 campaign started getting calls from political strategist Will Pinkston, a former consultant to the Dean campaign who left that job after Craddock dropped out. The calls weren’t small talk. Pinkston dropped strong hints they should defect to Tally.

One of those contacted tells the Scene that Pinkston referred to Holleman as “disruptive.” Furthermore, the person says, Pinkston suggested the incumbent was responsible for derailing the mayor’s agenda on the fairgrounds — a refrain that’s growing louder as early voting looms.

Dear Will Pinkston, most everyone thinks you were some combination of Harrison/Heatseeker/Dr. Jellyfinger. Many people noticed that the fake Michael Craddock twitter stream’s shelf-life was as long as your consulting gig with the Dean campaign. Either you, yourself, are one disruptive motherfucker, in which case, you making any calls about other people being disruptive is rich as fuck, or a shit-ton of people in this state believe you are capable of being that level of a disruptive motherfucker, in which case, it is still quite rich that you are making any calls about other people being disruptive.

But please, carry on. If we have to be ruled by oligarchs, like this is Russia in the… um… right now, just give me my tiny giraffe and a bucket of popcorn and I’ll watch for as long as it’s entertaining. And this shit is entertaining.

Also mentioned in the article? Joe Hall. You may remember him from such things as him being upset with me for pointing out that the Bells Bend material was full of lies about the archaeology survey.

Whew.

I swear, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying about this shit.