Demonstrable Proof I am Not a Wild Woman

I was listening to other versions of this on Youtube and I was surprised to find that nearly every modern arrangement of this song sounds the same and, weirdly, not exactly like this. Is there really only one method for bringing old blues songs into contemporary times? I don’t believe it.

I do, however, believe this song deserves someone who can repopularize it and not make it sound like a bad Mama Cass cover.

And yet, I feel like the Mama Cass version manages to somehow avoid sounding like all the versions that sound like bad Mama Cass covers. I can’t really explain it. I’m just ready for someone to make this a dance hit.

<mildpityparty>It will not be me, though, because I fail at cool stuff. </mildpityparty>

I Stopped Ron Ramsey from Kicking a Baby!

Wait, what? Ron Ramsey never even intended to kick a baby? Well, that’s weird. Why would someone take credit for stopping someone from doing something they weren’t going to do?

Oh, oh, but wait!!!! I rounded up all of the  rabid purple yellow mouth curs Ron Ramsey had deposited in 93 counties… oh, there’s no such thing as a purple yellow mouth cur? Very strange. Why would a person take credit for running something out of someplace it’s never been?

Don’t get me wrong. This is a strange and scary time for us. But Republicans have only been in complete charge for six months and they’re already having to make up things they’ve accomplished?

That’s really strange.

Two Things that Delight me… of Iowa

1. This chick has a forthcoming book called The Princesses of Iowa. (I found a brief synopsis of it here.) I love this title. I want to change the titles of all my blog posts to end in “of Iowa.” Is there such a thing as Midwestern literature? No there is not. Why not? Because it would be unseemly. But, if there were, I’m totally already championing any books with titles that end in “of Iowa” as being quintessential examples of the form.

2. Four words: Rob. Zombie. Woolite. Commercial.


Tips for Tipsters

1. Sure, everyone gets why you’d want to send your email from an anonymous account, but when you send an email from an anonymous account with a .com I don’t recognize, no way in fuck am I clicking on your link. I’m honestly surprised it didn’t go straight to my spam filter.

2. Even if I recognized your email, if all it contains is a link to a url that even vaguely sounds like it might lead me to porn, again, I’m not clicking on it. If you’re afraid your style of writing is so distinct that it would give you away, then do a few practice emails where you switch “This missive contains a bit of internet detritus you, esteemed blogger, might find illuminating” to “You might find this link interesting and here’s why”.

3. That last part is crucial. Why should I give a shit? In this particular case, is chick marrying a woman? Is her wedding being paid for with tax dollars? Otherwise, I don’t care and I find it a little fucking ooky that y’all are like “we must set up an anonymous account that can’t be traced to us to leak to bloggers that a politician’s kid is getting married.”

People, this is the thing about Tennessee politics that is literally going to drive me to drink. I received a tip that someone had gone to great lengths to hide his or her identity about so that it could never be traced back to them and yet, if you google the name of the person the tip pertains to and Tennessee, just the name and the state not “married” or “engaged” of the bride to be, the very second link that comes up is the link someone is trying so hard to make sure can’t be traced back to them.

Things I can easily learn on Google are not anonymous tips.