Ooo, Stormy

We had this wildly scary storm last night. Not in a “Oh my god, I need to kick the dog out of the closet so I fit in there” way, but in a “an anthropomorphized version of the storm is going to kill you in your bed” way. Which, I realize, from the outside probably looks the same. But a tornado necessitates getting up and taking shelter. A supernatural killer storm? Well, you can hide, but it will find you.

So, there was constant lightning, like sparkling sequins, but huge. And thunder. Almost continuous thunder. But the part I couldn’t sleep through was that the rain came whipping around the house from all different directions, first knocking on the bathroom window to be let in, then the front bedroom window, and then, even in the narrow space between the house and the creek, rattling the glass, wailing along the sills.

Obviously, these are metaphors that need some work. Reading back, I realize that my supernatural killer storm is wearing a dress with awkwardly large sequins that rumble against each other as he runs towards my house, menacing his intended victims by tapping on windows with his pointy killer fingers. Not actually that scary.

But you’ll have to forgive me. I didn’t sleep very well.

Oh, and the other thing? The power went out at least once, briefly, but I must have been very sound asleep because I didn’t wake up when the CPAP machine turned off. No, what woke me up was that thing coming on, sounding for all practical purposes like a monster gasping for breath after being under water for some time.

3 thoughts on “Ooo, Stormy

  1. I say that even if a supernatural killer storm can you find, you should hide anyhow just in case it gets lost or tired.

    There was a middle of the night storm here last week that I think was the loudest, most intense storm I’ve ever heard. It was at least 30 continuous minutes of thunder and lightening that lit up my room enough to read even through dark curtains. My brother agrees it was intense; although, we awoke in separate rooms and didn’t talk about it until the next morning.

    As I was just waking up and figuring out that the commotion was thunder and rain I was convinced there was a war in the skies outside the window. I asked a few other people about it and when two slept through it I was so shocked. But they said other members of the household said it was a wild storm.

  2. I laughed so hard at your first sentence that I made a little snorty noise! It’s true. Supernatural killer storms should get tired or lost or possibly bored. I mean, how many people can you supernaturally kill before you’re like “eh, maybe I should take up knitting.”

  3. I respect the supernatural killer storm. Especially since, as it was winding down this morning as I drove into The Office, the SCARIEST LIGHTNING BOLT I HAVE EVER SEEN stabbed the sky not a quarter-mile from me and then JUST HUNG THERE for a few seconds, sort of throbbing. Never seen that before. Eeeeeep.

    (Now I have used the word “throbbing” on your blog and the ‘bots will run completely berserk. Soooorry.)

    But it was scary and overwhelming. And I’m usually all, “Yeah, fine, I’ve unplugged everything. Going back to sleep now.” Eeeee.

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