Raise the toilet seat. And I will not hunt you down and wipe my piss-drenched ass on you.
Seriously, every time I go to the bathroom at Noshville, I end up sitting in someone’s piss. And I realize those are shitty stalls and it’s hard to line up over the toilet correctly. Shoot, that’s the reason I go down to J&J’s Market. Sure, I also pick myself up a treat. But it’s to use a toilet you don’t have to be a contortionist to sit on.
But… hoverers. You’re hovering. You’re not sitting in the first place. So why can’t you hover over the bowl with the seat up?