Oh, Memphis, why must you be so cool and so damn hot? Anyway, this is really awesome. This jewelry designer has a whole bunch of poetry-inspired jewelry for sale. I invite you to check it out, just for the cool cross-promotion factor. You may sense that the most awesome piece, the piece that would just tie together your whole outfit is missing.
That may be because someone… and I’m not mentioning names… bought it before telling you about this.
Too bad “tossing someone’s salad” is already a thing. As you remember from previous posting, the Professor took me shopping and I bought things while under the influence of seeing how cute things looked on her. Seriously, there’s something about seeing a cute shirt on her that makes me feel like “Oh, yeah, I can totally rock this v-neck t-shirt.”
But I’ve spent the whole morning feeling self-conscious about the boob freckle just being out and about while wearing said v-neck t-shirt and checking to see what I’m typing, etc. And then I got a sandwich from Jimmy John’s and they put a fuck-ton of lettuce on their sandwiches and, for some reason, I could not eat this sandwich without dumping that fuck-ton of lettuce all over my boobs. Like, literally, a head of lettuce, with a thin coating of mayonnaise just sliding down my boobs, coming to a final resting spot in my bra.
Do people like CoCo… um T? Is that her last name? CoCo T? You know who I mean. Ice-T’s wife, who is constantly running around just one string of dental floss away from naked? Do they have a bib for lunchtime?
Or is this why Coco walks around nearly naked? The lettuce eventually makes its way to the floor instead of getting stuck in her bra?
Is there like a grown-up bib? A napkin won’t cut it because the neckline on the shirt is too low. Are there ascots for women? Is that the solution? I can’t just sit at my desk in a strand of dental floss.
Or do I just turn on the webcam and start charging people to watch me drop food on my boobs?
Holy shit, our walk this morning was beautiful. Everything is just sopping wet, dew coating everything, giving it the appearance of glass in the dawn light. And there’s a light fog everywhere, so the sunlight streaming through it looks so cool. I just couldn’t believe it. We walked farther than usual just to get to stay out in it.
But the best part? Don’t get me wrong, it’s still hot out there. But the breeze is cool again. I don’t know if we’ve turned that corner and the breeze is always going to carry the hint of fall, or if this is just a one-off. But I was glad for it.
Dear Governor Baby,
Many of us also thought there was no way you’d sign into law a bill forcing cities to allow their vendors to discriminate against gay people.
And yet you did.
So, color me unconvinced by your “Don’t Say Gay is never going to become law” bullshit.
b.
Tiny Cat Pants 