Captain Morgan News that Somehow Doesn’t Involve Him Seducing Everyone With His Eyes

So, apparently Captain Morgan may have misplaced his boat some time ago. And some folks from Texas were trying to find it for him. But of course, since they were liberal elitist college professors who probably wanted Captain Morgan’s boat just to prove evolution or global warming or something, they mysteriously ran out of funds. Captain Morgan the spirits, not Captain Morgan who is a spirit, threw some money at the froo-froo Texans and the ship was found!

Well, someone’s ship.

The good thing about being a pirate is that even if it’s not your ship today, it could be tomorrow.

8 thoughts on “Captain Morgan News that Somehow Doesn’t Involve Him Seducing Everyone With His Eyes

  1. And I thought I was just having a Pavlovian response to Captain Morgan when I saw news of his ship.

    I did tell myself that it wasn’t the guy in the commercial….

  2. I think my son is aspiring to be like Captain Morgan. He’s really into pirates now and he seems to have the same kind of charm with the ladies. He somehow manages to charm all the cougars (5 or older) on the playground every time.

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