Some Thoughts on Weight-Loss Aids

This weekend, the Professor and I were talking about the prescription version of Alli, in which she informed me that the materials that come with the drug just basically tell you that the drug works primarily by conditioning you to eat differently, because, if you don’t, you will shit yourself. The whole “shitting yourself” thing isn’t an unfortunate side-effect; the way the drug works is to make you so afraid of shitting yourself that you don’t eat anything that might cause you to do so. And thus, if you are “lucky,” you will lose weight. And by “lucky,” let us remember, I mean “adequately in fear of shitting yourself.”

Then I just read this about how Consumer Reports is reporting that six out of ten people who have lap-band surgery have to have repeated surgeries.

And all I could think is that we have an interesting definition of “health” where shitting yourself and having to have repeated surgeries are considered healthier than not shitting yourself and not having to have repeated surgeries.

I really would like to live in a world where people had access to healthy foods and ways to move safely around and everyone can eat well and exercise some and you are the size you are. And everyone else just minds their own business, rather than live in a world where “shitting yourself” is seen as a solution to anything.

Too Excited to Post Coherently

Frank” is in Apex Magazine. You can read it right now! You can read the awesome interview they did with me. You can dance around the house singing Muddy Waters songs in happiness (or just me, that’s cool).

Shoot, you can read “Bone” for old time’s sake.

Folks who aren’t fans of horror have expressed some nervousness about reading “Frank,” so I will just say that it is about a zombie and there are some dead girls, but, in the course of the story, no one except Frank dies but Frank dies repeatedly. There are some pokings of fun at academics. And there’s a trip to Walmart. If you can handle those things, that’s as horrific as it gets. I hope it’s more Shirley Jackson than “Saw,” if you know what I mean.

Shoot, I got all caught up in reading the rest of the stories that I am running behind. Go read it!