Mrs. W. Develops a Strange New Quirk

She acted utterly convinced that the HVAC guy was going to eat her food. She stood by her food, guarding it from him with ferocious barks. She ate as much of her food as she could. And then, she followed him around giving him the stink-eye.

In my dog’s whole life, she has never, ever once done anything that made me think she had thoughts as complex as “You might have a plot against me. I should thwart it.” Even when we play “Which hand has the treat?” she’ll go back to the empty hand if you make it into a fist again on the off-chance the treat might magically appear there.

She’s not big on deduction, my dog.

And yet she deduced that the HVAC guy wanted her food. Wrongly deduced, yes. But still…

Energy Better Hit Me, Soon

I’m at the house, so that I can meet the air conditioning guy. I got to the house this early so that I could pick up a little before he got here. Instead, I’ve been answering emails and playing on the computer.

Because, obviously, answering emails and playing on the computer are far more fun than picking up the house.

And I keep feeling something crawling on my leg, which I know and you know is going to be a tick, but I just can’t bring myself to confirm.

Do ticks serve any purpose? I feel like we could just get rid of them and no one would notice. But with my luck, something important eats them and I’d get rid of ticks and ruin the whole ecosystem.

Let’s Just Call Them ‘Values’

Over at Out of the Blue today, Tony Marks is talking about Tennessee Democrats as superheroes. It’s very lovely. Except this part: “First, I created ‘Tennessee Democrat’ to focus instead on what we do have, an identity rooted in the Southern values of hard work, fairness, community, and compassion.”

These are now particularly Southern values? If I go visit my parents, I’m going to find them lazing about the Midwest when they’re not punching their neighbors for no good reason?

Or, if they do value hard work, fairness, community, and compassion, are they “real” Southerners, even though they’ve never lived here, while I, their lazy, jerky daughter who does live here can never be a true Southerner because I’m an asshole?

Is it rude to at least note that turning around and valuing hard work, fairness, community, and compassion is a change of direction from the last 250 years?

It’s stupid and I should just get over it, I know. But I swear to god, every time I feel like Tennessee Democrats might finally be like “Our tent is big enough even for the weirdos like you,” there’s something, some action, some rhetorical flourish that reminds me that the velvet rope goes across the entrance way right before I get there.

And it still annoys me.