1. Went to Ashland City, which is my favorite place to go to in Tennessee. I can’t really explain it. I don’t particularly care to be in Ashland City, especially now that they tore down the restaurant with the awesome fries. But mark my words, people, someday I will write a book called Going to Ashland City and it will be amazing. Or not. I like to be on my way to Ashland City, whether you like my hypothetical book or not.

2. I found my good clippers! I had put them away somewhere they’d be easy to find and… yeah, they were not. But I found them and the privet in the rose is gone. Bunch of weeding done. Bunch of weeding still to do. Such is the story of my yard.

3. Finished The Sisters Brothers. Out there is a person who loves that book. I would like to meet that person and force them, at gunpoint, to explain what the fuck. The writing is beautiful, though, and I am a little in love with Eli Sisters and his toothbrush.

4. Went to the Confederate Cemetery Tour at Mt. Olivet. Yes, I behaved myself. I met a guy who is new in town, who was supposed to be meeting other Christian singles. Instead, he and I started chatting and his group never showed up so I walked through the cemetery with him, making my slightly snide comments about how smoothly they glossed over Hood to focus on the awesomeness of Forrest to him. But, in general, yes, I behaved myself. Perhaps that’s unfair and I should instead just punch all vulnerable Christian men who step into my sphere, as a warning. I felt bad, because, you know, I go do shit by myself if it’s something I want to do–and I did, for the purposes of the Sue Allen project, want to spend some time observing Confederate reinactors. I went practically straight from the yard to the tour. Chicken shit all smeared on my arm, weed seeds stuck in my hair, which was sticking straight up from where I got tangled in the ungrateful rose bush (next time, I’ll just let the privet take over!), smelling like… well… not pretty.

Sorry, dude, whoever you are. Most Nashville women smell nice and are not all full of organic matter. Hell, I’m not normally covered in seeds and shit, but it’s fall.

6. Someone killed a chipmunk and left it by the back steps. I threw it into the grass. I started weeding the hollyhocks and turned to find Mrs. Wigglebottom munching on the dead chipmunk. I stupidly had put it right in her path. I hope that doesn’t give her some weird chipmunk disease.