The Difference Between Tempting and Choosing My Fate

I have had this song stuck in my head for a week now, thanks to NPT showing the Americana Music Awards and me watching it. And why should I be alone? I have mixed feelings about Justin Townes Earle, but I kind of dig a song about suicide that’s like “Yep, I can’t get any better than this. Better kill myself.” There’s some wicked, wicked social commentary in these verses, hidden beneath a catchy tune.

NM asked me if I’d heard the Pistol Annies album and I said I had not since the situation we discussed at lunch. But then I purchased it any way and I am floored. Just floored. I like Miranda Lambert, and I am excited as hell about her next album, but holy shit, this is good. I want to say smart things about it, but I don’t know that I have any smart things to say.

I have more questions than observations, you know? Like why isn’t this also Americana? Isn’t this the kind of album that, when people say “This shit they make now isn’t real country,” you can justifiably shove this up their noses? Is “Housewife’s Prayer” the best song about the recession so far? When was the last time any woman sang a song about popping pills? Am I wrong to be sad that this album isn’t going to win a million awards?

Vacationing

I think I need to go on a vacation. Like actually go some place. Some place where I’m not related to anyone.

I wonder how I can afford to do that…

I think I’m having vacationing daydreams exactly because I’ve decided to get serious about paying my credit card off.

I need someone to pay to option A City of Ghosts for film. I don’t know how to go about making that happen.

Either that or I need to sell the mineral rights on my land. Not that I have any minerals. Unless mud counts as a mineral.

Walking My Visible Dog

Oh, today, finally, I felt that big bubble of dull pain in my ankle, the one that says, “Yep, I’m working my way out.” It was a relief. Fall is really here now. It’s dark when we walk. The leaves are brown and slick on the ground. We walk close together, no one tugging on the other.

I finished The Visible Man yesterday and I have to day that, yes, I continued to enjoy it clear to the end. And then I went through a period of mixed feelings about it, like maybe it was just a little too… I don’t know… something. And then, this morning, while walking the dog, I realized I was really enjoying rehashing the book in my mind.

It’s got its flaws, don’t get me wrong. I never quite believed the therapist was a woman and not some dude’s idea of a woman (I just think that, if you had a patient who was invisible, who had expressed some feelings for you, and who you believed was crazy to the point that he couldn’t quite empathize with the people he did things to, your anxiety about him maybe being in your house would circle a lot more on the bedroom a lot earlier). But I LOVED her characterization, especially her lack of curiosity. Not that I feel like she’ll have much curiosity after this. Ha ha ha. And I liked that it was obvious that she was monstrous in some of the ways he was.

Anyway, I think it’s growing on me in aftertaste.